WHPR 5604: Commemorative Edition

Day 5,604, 21:26 Published in USA USA by James S. Brady Press Room
WHPR 5604: Commemorative Edition

Dateline: Saturday March 25, 2023 (Day 5604 )
Location: James S Brady Press Room, The White House

Editor’s Note: 4000 Days of WHPR was last December.

Henry "Pfeiffer" Arundel recalls the inception and development of the White House Press Room.
The James S. Brady Press Room was opened for business on 7 April 2009, during the scrabman Presidency. As of today, Day 1504, it is 1000 days old (the first publication came a day later, on Day 505). To commemorate this occasion, we will be looking back on the origins of this organization.

scrabman opened the Press Room and immediately put it to work both as a tool of his Administration, and his political agenda. At the time scrabman was at the helm of both the eUS and the United States Workers Party, then and now the largest party in the country. There was an alliance of sorts between the USWP and the AAP (the number three party), meaning that the number two party, the Libertarians, were constantly the opposition party. Their most vocal leader of the time was Claire Littleton. Claire was a real pain in the ass to basically everyone (even her own party), but that was what made her so effective. She set into scrabman and his administration at every turn.

What is a President to do when faced with a crazy bitch who enjoys writing 50% troll, 50% political hit pieces? Obviously, you make her the first White House Press Secretary.

This effectively silenced the loudest voice from the largest opposition party, because Claire couldn't possibly write about how evil the Administration was while serving as its primary spokesperson. That left sixth parties and kyle321n (lolkyle) as the only active opposition to scrabman, and allowed him to run the table for more than 4 months.

While the early releases from the Press Room focused on domestic affairs and the training wars with the Irish, the paper evolved in the months to come under Presidents Harrison Richardson and Emerick. Regular war reporting and rah-rah America pieces directed people to the DoD orders, military recruitment forms, and the old eUS Battle Orders script.

The Press Room has evolved over the years, but it is still the single best record we have of our national history. It shows the ups and downs, the most historic occasions, and chronicles the events that shaped generations of eAmericans. For those of you who go to flip through the pages of the archives, the original Press Release has since been overwritten by a past Administration, but messages have been sent to the remaining members of the scrabman Administration in an attempt to get it restored.

Now that we've all learned a little bit more about 2009, all of us here at the White House, oldfag and newfag alike, leave you with a charge for the year. Always remember our history as a country, the men and women who built it, and then push forward. Forge a new path. Find the aspect of the game you enjoy the most and dive into it 110%. This game is what you make of it; this country is what we build together.

While most of you will probably recognize this line from Dead Poet's Society rather than the original work, Henry David Thoreau wrote the line I'll leave you with:

“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die discover that I had not lived.”

These are our "woods". Live your life.

Live deliberately, America.

Kickstart the media. Every keystroke counts.

WHPR 5604: Commemorative Edition

Your White House Press Corps Editor Today,

Relevance is relative.