Breaking News: eUS at eOlympics
MaryamQ
Hello, eUS! These are your reporters, Pfenix Quinn and Melissa Rose with news, and possibly a little commentary, about the performance of the eUS in the recent eOlympics*.
We realize that few of you watched, despite the ridiculous amounts paid by us for broadcasting rights, but we are here to get you up to date
Our first eEvent is the ski jump, ably led by CP Kody5. Like the champion he is, he jumped so far, he flew right out of the venue, and it is not known where or whether he has landed. It has been reported that he is looking for a new place to try an air strike, so we will have to wait for updates.
Moving on, in curling, TheNorm and MaryamQ represented the eUS in mixed doubles, with coach Jake Sea assisting. Upon arrival to the sheet, Coach Sea advised MQ that she needed to begin the end by throwing the stone into the house, while Norm would act as sweeper. TheNorm, upon hearing the word “sheet”, mistook “sweeper” for “sleeper”, and retired to the edge of the sheet to take a nap. Meanwhile, Maryam was unsure whether the house she was supposed to throw into was Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. Once that was sorted out by
The Rough Riders, having decided they were well suited for the bobsled competition, set up a 4-
The biathlon competition was entered by members from Bear Cavalry and EZC. Franklin Stone, unfortunately, was disqualified for testing positive for a banned, though not performance enhancing, substance. He claimed it was totally appropriate because it was 420 somewhere, but judges were not sympathetic. BC members were somewhat disappointed that they could not bring their bears, but members of both MUs were so enthusiastic about the opportunity to shoot, that both ubuntu and shiloh had to spend considerable energy trying to prevent them from shooting while skiing, and admonishing them only to shoot at the targets. Jake Sea, arriving from curling too late to enter, narrowly missed being shot by an eager young soldier, who shall remain nameless.
By far the largest eEvent was a great downhill ski race, endorsed by ePlato, and entered by many eCitizens, both well known and totally unknown. The course was so long that the results are not yet known, and there is no authoritative estimate of an end time.
We will keep you posted - or not.
* Note, any resemblance to any eCountry or eCitizen, eLiving or eDead, is purely
Comments
Old Sub
👏👏 eUSA! eUSA! 👏👏
I didn't know I needed this until I did.
Thank you.
Seconded.. Thank you also,..
Great article 😃
S422
Thank you!
I couldnt find the dustpan, sooo please ignore the lumps under the carpet,.. It's always been like that.. 😛
Fun and entertaining, awesome.. TY .. 🙂
Funny, I don't remember noticing those lumps before. 😉 Thank you!
Voted.
State of anxiety about CP Kody landing...
The last reported sighting was somewhere over eEurope. We are trusting his Rock-like strength to bring him home safely.
Hahahaha. Good stuff
Loved this, MQ!
NEXT UP:
Is plate-throwing really a suitable e-Olympic event?
Discuss.
It is! I think but it's called disc throwing I think
It depends on what kind of plates. I would not recommend using the bone china, but stoneware might be an acceptable alternative.
o/
Baaaa
amazing article!
p7
Full support would read again!
Bobsled, its not just a sport but a lifestyle!
Here at Maryam's View, we support whatever lifestyle feels most authentic to you!
Yeah we got a little carried away to BC everything is a legit target, well maybe not everything.
It is a drag about Franklin, but he is right it is 430 I men 420 somewhere right now, or maybe not ...what were we talking about?
It got even crazier at the post-event party with the EZ outfit. At least I think I was there, maybe, maybe not.
Those cats can party!
Great Article!