Pickl Narrowly Avoids Impeachment

Day 4,851, 11:40 Published in USA USA by Gnilraps

Scandal Rocks eCanada

eCanada’s CP Funnels Resources Intended for Bots Into Accounts of Real Players, Is Almost Impeached

In a bold move intended to declare its full support of allied bot farms, the Congress of eCanada recently raised a vote to impeach Thedillpickl. The bill was narrowly defeated.

At issue is the disposition of 15 drums filled with recently tapped maple syrup. I caught up with Congressman Kippers, who raised the impeachment vote (and who also happens to be last month’s runner-up in the CP election if you know what I mean), at the local Beavertail’s where he was so angry he demanded that we split the check. “He stole it dahl gummit!” Kippers declared, before apologizing for his foul language. He continued, “We could all smell the syrup on their breath when they voted against impeachment,” referring to the 11 congressmen who kept Pickl in office.

The Maple Syrup was apportioned specifically to feed “Canadian” bots which had grown suspiciously silent during the past week. Several in Congress wondered if the bots, along with eQuebec, had separated from eCanada entirely. “What will our Balkan friends think of us?” one congressman was heard musing as he drained a mug filled with some chilled beverage that resembled moose urine but was poured from a bottle labeled “beer”.

Pickl was unavailable for questioning as of press time, however he did issue the following statement through his press secretary:


President Pickl was photographed escaping congressional inquiry like a bat out of hell hades

Further inquiry into the matter was postponed due to it being hockey night and all.