Hello my dear readers. Once again this is Amber Zand reporting for The Jade Quill.
Now a question weighing heavily on a lot of people's minds is "Where did the Jade Queen go?"
And I have an answer for you. The Jade Queen took a brief hiatus to go to boot camp, Drag Bootcamp.
Here is a brief interview of their experiecnces.
Amber Zand (AZ): Our beloved Queen of Jade, where on earth have you been?
JadedDragQueen (JDQ): HIEEEEEE! I was in a lovely little base in Transylvania, looked like a castle of sorts, lots of nooks and crannies, hidden passage ways, and a runway as long as a [American] football field. It was quite nice.
AZ: What was the purpose for your trip?
JDQ: I was in the process of training to be extra Fabulous, you know, trying to go the extra mile for the 506.
AZ: Was this like a vacation of sorts, or just a work trip?
JDQ: It was Drag Boot Camp. Teaching every man to be a better woman.
AZ: I see, What new things did you learn while there?
JDQ: Well, we start with the Alaska 5000 and then work our way up to super model of the world. So, I learned quite a bit.
AZ: How very fascinating. What exactly is the Alaska 5000?
JDQ: It's a list of all the basics. "The use of flash photography is strictly Mandatory, The more you drink the prettier I look, Tipping is Compulsory, It takes a lot of money to look cheap,
Some of the greatest women in the world have gigantic penises, You're makeup is terrible, Oh and above all the correct greeting for and from a Queen is "HAIEEEEEEEE!!!"
AZ: ...Well, that certainly is....enlightening. What is next for you?
World Domination I mean, World Peace. *Flashes pretty yet creepy smile*
AZ: Anyway.... Any final words for your readers?
JDQ: TIP THESE MEN!! And whenever possible tell us we look gorgeous!
There you have it folks, the latest update on the JadedDragQueen. Somehow I feel like This Candidate is still all nuts and no bolts. Thank you for taking the time to read this interview. Amber Zand for The Jade Quill, signing off.