eUSA Foreign Policy in a Nutshell

Day 2,894, 18:10 Published in USA USA by Gnilraps

Foreign Affair

Dear eUSA,

This will be one of the more difficult letters I’ve had to write to you.

It is difficult because the circumstances of Foreign Affairs in eRepublik are about as complicated as your girlfriend.

Closeup of one portion of a Venn diagram of your girlfriend and eRepublik FA

Basically, eRepublik Foreign Affairs works like this: Everyone hates at least someone else. Whatever nation your nation hates also hates another nation. And sometimes the nation that is hated by your nation hates a nation that is also hated by a nation your nation doesn’t hate. Well let me tell you… that’s when the trouble starts. Because if your nation doesn’t hate the nation that is hated by the nation your nation hates AND that same nation which is hated both by the nation your nation hates AND the nation your nation DOESN’T hate decides that it hates your nation… well you can see the problem.

This actually happens. I’m not making this up.

So don’t expect this Foreign Affairs update to make any sense. Don’t even bank on anything I say here as being ironclad truth. It’s not because I don’t want to tell you the truth, it’s more likely because some nation that our nation hates isn’t sufficiently hated by another nation that our nation doesn’t want to hate and that same nation that our nation doesn’t want to hate is totally hated by several nations we already don’t hate but also don’t want to start hating even though they might soon stop hating the nation we hate.

Honestly, I’m not making this up.

In fact, and I swear to (insert random e“god” here, just not that one particular e”god” that some of you hate but the rest of you don’t hate and those same people who don’t hate “him” totally hate those people who do hate “him”, if you know what I mean…) that this is the truth: we’re stuck in a pickle between a nation we hate but don’t think we want to hate and a nation we don’t hate but think we should hate, while nations we also hate don’t hate the nation we don’t hate but meanwhile the several nations we don’t hate won’t hate the nation we DO hate. It’s a bit of a quandry.

And once again, all of this is completely double-checked for veracity.

So, and at this point I don’t see any reason why I should change gears and start naming names, if we can just find a group of nations to hate that also hate the same nations we don’t hate, and if those same nations we don’t hate would please, please, please also hate the nations we’ve decided to hate… that would be great.

Oh. By the way, within eUSA, there are basically equal factions of people, some who hate the nations we are trying to hate, some who won’t hate the nations we are trying to hate, some who won’t hate the nations we are trying not to hate, and some who are willing not to hate the nations we hopefully will keep not hating. It’s somewhat less complicated than the international scene, honestly, but it still can keep one up at night.

Anyway, I just wanted to alert you, dear eUSA, to the goings-on lately in international politics. If what I’ve already written seems a little convoluted, you just need to slow down and read it again. Trust me, fill in a few of the blanks and it will all make sense.

One thing I do know, though, we do love us some Argentina.

Sincerely your CP/D