Breaking news from down under!!
Ilene Dover
A 7 year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law, and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the greatest degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him even more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the English cricket team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone!
Comments
VSE 🙂
This story is fake. If there was no immediate family members the judge would send the boy into a care home. On top of this I highly doubt the English Cricket team would take on the responsibilities of caring for a 7 year old boy. If you want to use your newspaper to write stories then at least write them with some factual truth. My recommendation is to delete this article and try again following a my realistic storyline.
Also it's a little short isn't it and if you're going to be writing formally (whom, correct commas etc etc) then the number '7' should be written in word form as 'seven'.
Thanks for taking your time to write in our media though. It's not often we get foreign articles but sadly we set ourselves a high standard in our media module.
Thanks for the feedback.
I shall endeavour to obtain superb factual accuracy and adequately supercilious verbosity in future correspondence. 😉
Thank you. I did like the style of how you told the story though. The 'Breaking News' not only grabs peoples attention and draws them in to the story but gives a sense of authenticity too your writing
@Ilene if I were you I would ignore comments like the one above as they show clear symptoms of suffering from phronemophobia
It's a good joke for the cricket team which have no capabilities to win a game or as she wrote "not capable of beating anyone" 😃
Oh terribly sorry was this meant to be a joke. My apologies I could not see a punchline. However after brief research that despite clearly losing to many teams at a tournament currently on going called The ICC Cricket World Cup which is 'is the international championship of One Day International (ODI) cricket' they have in fact beaten the Scottish team by 119 runs. Therefore meaning your 'jokes' punchline is incorrect as the England Cricket Team can beat someone. They also have a long history dating back to 1877 during which they have beaten my teams in different formats of the game of cricket.
Sambo, you missed a golden opportunity to blow smoke up the Scot's skirts. The correct answer is that they "aren't anyone" and thus the original conclusion stands.
Actually, I first saw this "joke" appear when the AUSTRALIAN Cricket team were at a low ebb; after England RETAINED the Ashes and even New Zealand were able to win a Test series against the Aussies!
How the times change... We are now back to our regularly scheduled match results. 🙂
pozzzzz
People actually watch cricket?
When their team wins they do. 🙂
It's, imho, somewhat ahead of watching most soccer games.
You mean Football...
No... Football is this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IiaNlFkiFHM
Soccer = grass ballet
People go to cricket as the sport is slow enough that a person can go to the bar to get their 6th pint of Pimms or cider (or a drink of their choice) without missing any of the action... The cricket is merely a backdrop for a day of boozing....
That video's not football. that's the Village People in unnecessarily short shorts mounting each other on a round pitch. While 50 drunk Australians watch them.
THIS ... is football: https://youtu.be/gnMzGrZmcTA
nobody gives a fuck about cricket
Are you sure?
Or is this another sport the English invent and then rage quit, because "the colonials" are too good? 🙂
the only sport the majority of the english care about is football, and even then its club before country. I've never so much has watched cricket, its so dull
Cricket is more of a venue sport, like rugby, than a TV sport.
Football/soccer is as boring as bat shit. If I wanted to watch two dozen blokes try to score for an hour and a half, I'd just head down to the pub...
lol football is boring?
any sport that can take 5 days and stops for lunch and tea isn't a sport
I like the acting in Soccer, when players consider themselves tripped & roll in agony on the ground clutching what must be a compound fracture
of their ankles.
Also when there is a penalty scored & the defending team lines up in front of the gold posts clutching their nuts. I cannot make my mind up if safety or homoeroticism is involved here
The Italians seem to put on particularly good theatre. Like usual, stereotypes are grounded in facts...
http://img-comment-lol.9cache.com/media/91c0d737142542143303257067_700wa_0.gif
From the comments I think we can all agree that Rugby is the true sport
I didn't read the article, but by the comments I see that it's about cricket...never played it, never watched it, but my friend moved to the UK and one day he told me he watched cricket and that he will never make that mistake again 😃
I remember in college I learned about the sport in a subject called "Sports tourism", that it can take more than a day to finish a match, sounds boring 😃
Sports preference can be a very personal thing. However you do yourself a disservice by skipping the article. It is a wonderful example of international pissing by sporting proxy.
I guess it depends from where you grow up...I don't think any of you care about handball or water polo 😃
A truly spectacular article and ignoring the factual inaccuracies, one i would read again.
In fact i have read it 49 times now and can honestly say i find it somewhat mesmerizing.
The lack of a mention of "rock, paper, scissors" as the true universal sport is somewhat worrying but i applaud your attempt and look forward to many more.
V&S
How did England beat Scotland?
The Scots "aren't anyone". 🙂 I can say that because I'm from Largs, if you use the way-back-when machine...
As a resident of Melbourne, I'm enjoying the results tremendously and looking forward to the final here. {Though it is not strictly "cricket", of course}
excellent article
btw i'm an english cricket fan
THEY EXISIT!!!
KNOCK KNOCK
Alright, I'll bite...
Who's there?
me. a dolphin.
http://img-comment-lol.9cache.com/media/8ea4d6f4141890081635645947_700wa_0.gif
Table tennis is a true sport.
So is chess, I'm led to believe. And that weird sport where hairy men put on woolen skirts to throw tree trunks.