Monsieur Guillontine for Congress! (November 2013)
Monsieur Guillontine
Salut madams and monsieurs,
That's right! I am running for Congress this month, and yes, I am ready to give it my all.
Why you should vote for me:
1. I speak French better than French people
2. I give people free baguettes
3. I have character: my name is misspelled
What I will do as an elected Congressman:
1. Spread the word of His Holiness
2. Use federal funds to build personal French bakeries for everyone
3. Make French the official language of Switzerland
On a serious note though, I do strongly feel that I have all the qualities and talents needed to be an excellent Congressman.
I have served as:
- Country President for 4 terms
- Vice President for 4 terms
- Minister of Foreign Affairs for 4 terms
- Chairman of Congress for 5 terms
- Congressman for 12 terms
- Party President for 15 terms
I really don't see what more there is to prove about my capabilities. I know that some of you don't care about experience though, so to appeal to you other folks, here's an added bonus: if I am elected into Congress, I promise that I will do 100 jumping jacks at the top of the Eiffel Tower. So remember my fellow baguette-lovers, make the right choice and VOTE for Monsieur Guillontine!
Let's fight. Fight for peace.
Yours truly,
Monsieur Guillontine
Swiss Patriot
Comments
Hail Baguettes!
Hail Baguettes!
vive la baguette!
"3. I have character: my name is misspelled"
Nothing beats the "/"... 😉
100 jumping jacks on top of the Matterhorn and it's a deal.
Bonne chance!
Bonne chance o/
Hail Baguettes!
Hell Bag-ladies!
Damn now I'm hungry for some good bread lol