WAR: America and Canada

Day 140, 07:15 • Published in USA USA • by Nave Saikiliah

Fellow citizens,

If you read one article this month, let it be this. Each word I write has a purpose; missing any might lead you to the wrong conclusions.

I have proposed to Congress that we invade Canada. The Department of Defense has already prepared for war with our Northern neighbor. Our treasury has enough gold and we will earn most of it back if we are successful in our campaign. Logistically, we are ready.

Many of you are probably still hung up on the word ‘war’. It is hard for many to discern real life applications from erepublik. When I arrived on the political scene, I thought it was ridiculous that the Democratic Party’s mission statement mentioned the environment, Social Security, and abortion. In the realm of eUSA, these things simply do not exist. In the same fashion, we must examine war in a new light before we make judgments.

Nobody will die. This war will not tear families apart. This is, after all, a game. If we view war from this game’s viewpoint, there are no negative humanitarian effects.

So why invade in the first place? Most of the reason is economic. Canada’s lack of leadership has caused the country’s growth to stagnate. Meanwhile, America has sustained the highest rate of growth in the past six weeks out of any other industrialized nation. If America took control of Canada, it would be in better hands. Our market size will increase – if you add both countries’ GDPs, you have the fifth wealthiest country in the world.

Part of the reason is social. A country is only as strong (and fun) as its most active players. Adding two dozen active, contributing players would do wonders for America. Like the economic aspects, it would also benefit Canadians.

Tactically, it makes sense as well. Canada is unprotected and a likely target for many foreign countries. America, on the other hand, is well-organized with good relations with nearly every powerful nation in the world. If Canada became part of America, its citizens would be safe from other foreign powers – foreign powers that would not have the wellbeing of Canadians in mind.

As for the Canadians, what will happen to them? Once our American soldiers defeat them, they will become American in every term of the game. The government’s primary focus will go from conquering Canada to acclimating its citizens. If that means using the Treasury to fund new political parties for the new citizens or purchasing companies on their behalf (although they will keep their companies), we will make arrangements.

Americans, under my direction, will be courteous and accommodating to the Canadians. We will do our best to assimilate the new nation while letting them keep their own views and culture. This war is not personal, and if there were any real negatives from eWar, none of this would be happening. I hope that Americans and Canadians alike will see that this is not necessarily a bad thing.

I deplore you all to take a rational look at all of this. I now put the decision into Congress and the American public’s hands. You have my recommendation.

-Nave
President of the United States