Ladies and Gentlemen,
The majestic flag which flies over our equally majestic land of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Island is threatened. Threatened from within!
Yes, that's right, the APP is threatening our very way of life! And as of the time of my writing this article, I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
The APP is full of Islanders and Croats, and they are corrupting and impurifying our precious bodily fluids. A band of rogue foreigners plan to usurp our native lands AND THEY MUST BE STOPPED. A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works. And that's the way the APP works.
Remember, the APP: Hard-core Commie bastards, and precious bodily fluid corrupters.