Another Month, Another Dead Spaniard
Cromstar
It's true America. The United States Armed Forces (USAF) are now one month old.
It's hard to believe we've been kicking ass for so long, but its true. Spain and Poland know what its like to have their asses kicked. That's the kind of lovin' we need to share with more people. Serbs need lovin', right?
Spread the love
In our first month, our total enrollment has surpassed more than 200 members and continues to grow daily! If you haven't already join the USAF today!
In tonight's article, I'd like to tell everyone about our awesome Army platoons. Currently, the Army has 5 platoons...each totally more awesome than the others.
1st Platoon - the Gravediggers
The 1st Platoon, led by the ineffable Veni Zelos, is a center of wisdom and learning in the Army. Oh, sorry. I confused them with Harvard. 1st Platoon spends their free time hanging out in graveyards and fixing people up with something they call 'dirt naps.' I hear its all the rage in Jersey.
2nd Platoon - the Black Knights
The Black Knights and their lord deershark never back down from a challenge. In fact, rumor has it their deershark still stands guard over a river bridge he claimed as his own, killing all who try to cross. The rest of the Black Knights are supposedly busy guarding the Mexican border to stem the influx of refugees. Keep up the good work boys and girls!
3rd Platoon - the Slowpokes
No, they aren't really called the Slowpokes, but they are sloooooooooow at picking a platoon name. So they are temporarily the Slowpokes. They are a thoughtful, deliberate group. The slowest and most thoughtful is their leader, chesehead. They never rush, with one exception. When the Platoon commander issues the order, they'll rush from the trenches to storm the enemy barricades! The last 3rd Platoon died in grorious battle with the Indonesians in Operation Pop-the-Cherry. We hope the new 3rd platoon will fare better. Probably not though.
4th Platoon - The Pink Fluffy Platypuses
I did not make this name up. These manly men and manly women picked their epic name in the manliest way possible: cage-match to the death. The losers will forever be remembered (their corpses are hanging in the chow hall in accordance with the wish of crucifixpandaninja) During their down time, the Platypuses do other manly things...like challenging each other to tiddlywinks.
5th Platoon - the Iron Fedoras
There are no wimpy berets in this rat pack. Following the epicness of AmyHat, the Fedoras terrorize all the hat-fearing people of the world. With AmyHat's promotion to Grand-Sombrero, Jasper Ferguson has taken her place. Go get the baldies and scare their pants off, brave souls!
There you have them, ladies and gentlemen. The 5 platoons of the USAF are celebrating their one-month anniversary tonight. Join us on the battlefield as we march to an epic victory.
How epic, you ask?
Yeah, that's about right
Cromstar
Major
Bureau of Public Affairs
Comments
WOO! \o/
YAYAY!
what does ineffable mean? o_O
Support for our bros in the Armed Forces from the SF. o7
Woot, go USAF!
o//
That's a damned awesome picture at the end.
1st Division, hail.
Where's mah Bootcamp article 😐
bootcamp wasnt cool enough to be in this article
1/1 Gravediggers is where it's at! So what if we like a bit of necrophilia.....
Here's to many more months o7
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
O7
ALL HAIL THE PINK FLUFFY PLATYPUSES
BLACK KNIGHTS ALL THE GODAMN WAY!!!!!!!
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
lol
Reppin' Black Knights
And they said it would never happen!
Congrats men.
Pink Fluffy Platypuses are here
platypuses rule
PLATYPUS POWER
TIDDLYWINKS IS ****ING AWESOME!!!!!
You....me and this shovel....need I say more?
Grave Diggers!!!
o7
Black Knights!
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
BLACK KNIGHTS
PLATYPUS POWER
PLATYPUS POWER
PLATYPUS POWER
PLATYPUS POWER
PLATYPUS POWER
PLATYPUS POWER
Gravediggers!!!
one month, lol.
Great first month, and we will have many more.
Epic article.
🙁 i made the Black Knights sig with that black knight 10 months ago... I almost want to say thats a copyright infrigment..but really it isnr 🙁
These are not official pics of the platoons anyway, just Cromstar being awesome.
1/3 is now the Shoe Throwers.
http://eusaforums.com/forum/index.php/topic,6778.msg125601.html#msg125601
Check it,
@Juan
Shut up, you didn't make it. 😛
lol thats what i mean its just funny how we both used it
black knights all the way!!!!!!
well, juan, it is pretty much the most awesome BK image on a google search. o/
Also the sig, isn't just that picture. The Black Knight sig isn't used in the article, but it's sexy.
Iron Fedoras. Quiet professionalism. shhhh
airno you're being too loud for 1/5
[removed]
Sorry, I'll try to keep it down Zonmei. 😛
I am glad to see that the USAF is following TC's example by ALSO having a Black Knights unit. TC leads the way!
USAF isn't following TC's example. Everyone in 2nd platoon nominated one nickname for the platoon, Black Knights was one of them. Then each member voted on which name they liked, Black Knights won. I doubt TC democratically chooses names.
SHOE THROWERS!
SHOE THROWERS!
SHOE THROWERS!
SHOE THROWERS!
SHOE THROWERS!
SHOE THROWERS!
BLACK KNIGHTS ALL THE MFIN WAY
❤️ >>>>> https://www.youtube.com/redirect?q=%6e%61%6b%65%64%2d%67%69%72%6c%73%2e%6f%6e%6c%69%6e%65%2f%6b%6b%2f%78%6b%44%57%43%39%3f%73%6f%75%72%63%65%3d%65%72%65%70%75%62%6c%69%6b%26%61%64%5f%63%61%6d%70%61%69%67%6e%5f%69%64%3d1769610