Dio Brando thunders into office on a mighty steamroller: |||ISLAMABAD, Pakistan- President Dio Brando has just won the elections in a Landslide victory. The final vote tally included 83% of the Pakistani population and Brando led with an astonishing margin of 98%. Shortly afterward, he released a statement through the Party encouraging unity among all Pakistanis and calling them toward triumph and his great plan (plan means keikaku).
Framax was unavailable for comment upon his loss and is assumed missing in the Pakistani countryside. Certain witnesses reported seeing an agitated black man fleeing into the desert with as many Kebabies(R) as he could carry. President Brando responded to this cowardice by releasing a statement:
Upon election, President Dio Brando began to test his powers first by doubling the citizen fee for anyone wishing to join Pakistan and secondly to test his currency issuing power. This was also to find faults in the voting system for the 28 member congress. Pakistanis should not fear the hike in fees as they are to prevent an influx of immigrants wishing to take advantage of our burgeoning economy.
On a second note, President Brando has discovered a 5000 Gold fee for beginning a war with a neighboring country. Although there will be an appeal to the world moderators this restriction will not be lifted anytime soon. When it is lifted or the treasury manages to gain the right amount of Gold, the first target will probably be Iran.
Populated entirely by the socially defunct and unorganized denizens of /b/, President Dio Brando, God-Emperor of Mankind wishes to make a lesson of them to show the true might of the vidya before the halls of the webbertubes. This will be a sound and swift victory and safety for the soldiers is all but guaranteed. However, participating soldiers must bring their own weapons.
All readers are encouraged to check the MiniTru and the Press Releases for more details.
(note to readers: enclosed is an image of our Glorious Leader, President Dio Brando, God-Emperor of Mankind. The same revolutionary system for viewing newspaper images is included in this publication and a double tap on the image will enlarge it.)
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