A Visit from St. Necrosis

Day 954, 17:30 • Published in USA USA • by Robert Loggia

'Twas the night before July 1st when all through the game,
Not a creature was stirring, not even GLaDOS;
The Q5 weapons were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Necrosis would soon be there;
The two clickers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Lana danced in their heads;
And Claire in her kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just blew all our gold on useless crap,
When out on the lawn arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the Q5 bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen bugs
Gave the lustre of Beta to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But publicized mod login information, and many banned citizens,
With a British driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be GF.
More rapid than headless chickens his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Woldy! now, Scrabman! now, Harrison Richardson!
On, Dan Wang! on, Dio! on, Halfie and Aiden!
To the top of the page! to the top of the menus!
Now ban away! ban away! ban away all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the page top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of gifts, and St. Necrosis too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the forums
The confusion and shock of each little member.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Necrosis came with a bound.
He was dressed in a trenchcoat, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all covered with Emerick's spunk;
A bundle of gifts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like George Lemnaru with his buttered si😜ack.
His eyes—how they looked like blotches of ink! his dimples just the same!
His cheeks were like... blotches of ink, his nose... blotches of ink too!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like trollface.jpg
And the beard of his chin resembled Pierric's nether regions;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a nagging Plato;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
To be honest, looking sort of like Justinious.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old Brit,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
LOLOL ADMIN GOT BANNED;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And banned all the people; then took a break for a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his mouse,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his SEES, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle,
But I heard him exclaim, ere he banned out of sight,
“Happy GF Day to all, and to all a good-night.”


-7/1/10 Day 954