Lana PTOs eRepublik HQ

Day 753, 02:58 Published in Norway Norway by Andreas Stassivik
Breaking News: Lana is a Soviet Spy

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As many of you have surely heard by now, the eRepublik admins have introduced a controversial new module to the game which allows players to pay gold, purchasable with real-world currency, to improve their strength stats on a daily basis to the lusty temptress known as Lana.

Here are the obvious questions.
Who is Lana? Why does she want my money?
How exactly am I getting stronger from my daily rendezvous with her?

Thanks to some super-sleuthing done by Norwegian double-agents embedded in Soviet intelligence, the StassiNet has confirmed our suspicions of her loyalty: she is a spy working for the USSR.

Identity Revealed
Zhana "Lana" Agonskaya, former Soviet Air Force commander. Your cover is blown, you two-timing succubus! She has put her mind, her spirit, and (especially) her body on the line for the former-PEACE state of Russia.

It is suspected that "Lana" has used her "assets" to breach even the highest levels of eRepublik data security thanks to those long nights at the office, where watching scantily-clad Lana have pillow fights with her Russian girlfriends was the only thing motivating developers to maintain the game's operation. She quickly rose through the ranks and used her influence to stop patching security vulnerabilities that have allowed Russian bot-nets to recursively invite countless thousands of illegal clone accounts, earning 5g per invite. Now, with all of Russia's stockpiled invitation bonus gold, they are relying on Lana to execute one final mission:
Give Mother Russia the means to purchase unparalleled military strength...
to crush EDEN once and for all!

The admins have added a CAPTCHA human verification system to every mundane action to hinder the bot threat. Unfortunately, this is aggravating for the already-enraged eRepublik players, especially the more experienced players who have earned their strength through dedicating themselves to daily training.

If you want to help put an end to this madness, you can join the 4000+ post-long official petition on the forums:

This is the StassiNet newspaper reporting live from the offices of hX.Stassi in Ostlandet, eNorway.

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Top 5 international articles protesting the admins' decision:
* Goodbye erepublik!
* (World)When I Grow Up...
* lana? personal trainer?! GOLD?!