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[WHPR] Greetings from Texas

Day 2,058, 23:03 Published in USA USA by James S. Brady Press Room

Dateline: Tuesday , July 9th (Day 2,058)
Location: James S. Brady Press Room, The White House

Today’s WHPR
1a) Department of the Interior Special Announcement
1b) Department of Ambassadorial Affairs is recruiting
2) War Report from the brilliant mind of Hale26
3) Texas style lulz

The Department of the Interior is currently hosting another fundraising drive. The Interior department is heavily dedicated to helping new players of this game and as the Department receives no funding from the government, it must raise its own money. You can assist the Interior by donating Tanks, Food and/or USD to Secretary Irule777 or, Deputy Secretary Kodos. The Interior thanks everyone who's willing to donate and will accept every donation, large or small. There's no price not worth paying for our young citizens! Money will go towards running current Interior programs and the coming soon IRC Incentives program.

The Department of the Interior is also in need of staffers. Secretary Irule777 has a variety of jobs available, if you're interested shoot the good Secretary a pm. In a similar vein the Department of Ambassadorial Affairs is looking for some fresh faces. Secretary Rainy Sunday, needs more ambassadors. If you’re interested the application can be found here. If you’re a new player, or have just kept a low profile up till now, and are looking for a chance to shine. The time is now. Apply for one of these jobs, do a good job, and it will be noticed.

Now a War Report from Hale26

Keeping the Average American Informed[]The World At War~

[] Hello there, treasured readers of our fine word-press. You may remember me from some of eAmerica's brighter war-times. I was a former War Reporter for Paul and Naz's SoM-ships. Now, back under the insanity of Sir Tyler Buublar Bublar and Emperor Proteus, I bring you our world at war. To today's war front updates ~
(America's war updates are purposely left out in this edition due to how certain I am that it will be touched upon in more apt words by a Cabinet member or the POTUS. I'll be covering international affairs this edition, with a short mention from our NSC Chair)

Russia Vs. The Ukraine | A Duel of Strange Proportions. 

The great Russian-Ukraine war has taken yet another turn for the worse, with the Ukraine effectively leaving Russia in possession of no regions. Russia, up until a few days ago, had divided the Ukraine into 3 bits, occupying large parts of the border and interior regions. Neverless, this war is one that remains in constant ebb. Even now our Russian friends are winning back Moscow, 62-48.

While we have problems here at home with our own TWO occupiers, we of course send as much support to Russia as possible. However, it must be noted that the real victors in this event, wipe or not, are the Russians. The Ukraine, until relatively recently, was wiped and denied Congress by the Hungarians month after month. The Ukraine, in exchange for their freedom, has decided to not only agree to rent half their nation, but to join the opposite side. They're now becoming servants for those who occupied them for so long. 

Stay Strong Russia. While our damage has been cut, and the odds are against us, Russia fights this eWar with purpose and pride. While ingame victory will be difficult, Russia has played this game in the truest way they can. The same can unfortunately not be said of the lap-dog enemies they fight.

Slovakia in the Greater German Highlands | Derpery ?Moving onto our second item, the pro-TWO nation of Slovakia currently holds two Norwegian territories after a very successful airstrike. While I understand the intent of Slovakia is to NE our Germarkian friends, it seems that their CP has hit some...snags?Hate to bring down your hopes, but it seems that this act wasn't out of malice towards TWO. TWO's divides are only in words so far; No actions yet. The Slovakian CP has apparently argued hacking according to some, and genuine mistake to others.

Either way, our sources have assured us that something interesting may be occur in the Sacred Germarkian Highlands this weekend. Given our damage output though, not is also a strong possibility. Only time will tell how the Slovakians do in the harsh Germarkian Highlands they occupy.

That's about all for this edition of War in the World. Leaving off with a quote from our NSC advisor, DMV, There are currently plans being worked out that should give us a fighting chance against TWO. Americans need to be patient, we are working very hard to ensure that we are able to liberate our territory. This isn't something that will happen tomorrow or next week but it will happen and when it does we will be stronger We are fighting against superior forces and due to the nature of the occupation we need to be prepared to fight an unconventional war against these enemies.

As you all know by now, the citizens of the eUSA and residents of the great state of Texas rose up, and booted the Serbian occupiers out. Serbia has made much of Texas belonging to them. It would appear the Serbs are gluttons for punishment and have returned for moar Texas hospitality. They still haven't learned that you don't mess with Texas. The Serbs are speeding back into Texas the local police are ready for them.

There's something about Texas that sharpens your edges. In the few days since we've been here I have noticed people toughening, growing stronger, and just a bit meaner. Check out the Texas effect on Josh Frost.

My family has roots in Texas going back more than 500 years. My ancestors came over on Spanish Galleons, lusting for gold, lands, and conquest. I recently went to South Padre Island to visit an old family homestead, while I was there, I decided to hit the beach.

Don’t lose heart America, the hardcore residents of Texas are with us. From our underground Texan strongholds we will assail our enemies who befoul our soul with their filthy boots. We will also help our Brothers to the south. North America will not tolerate foreign occupiers. For now Tyler Buublar, and the Media Department signing off. The next edition of the WHPR will be published Friday evening. In the meantime enjoy yourselves some Texas style BBQ.

The eNPR Schedule:

eNPR Oval Office Radio airs live every Tuesday night, at 19:00 eRep (10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific) on

eNPR will be live Tuesdays at 19:00 with your hosts, Derphoof and Paul Proteus.

If you miss any live radio show, you can listen at your leisure, at eNPR Oval Office Radio.

Recommended Reading:

Dept of Education: [DoE] Library of Informative Links
This is the complete and comprehensive list of all resources available to US players.
Dept of Interior: [DoI] Free Stuff for America
Free stuff, fairly self explanatory
WHPR: [WHPR] Civil Service Job Fair
Want a job working in Civil Service? Click here!

| The President's Newspaper | Speaker's Word | DoD Civilian Orders | Dept of Education | Dept of Interior |
| White House Press Room | Pony Express | eNPR Radio |

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Kooguy Day 2,058, 23:06

Why 2 articles?

Tyler Bubblar
Tyler Bubblar Day 2,058, 23:21

My plan is to publish twice a week if that's what you're asking

Pfeiffer. Day 2,058, 23:22

Think he means this:

another copy of the same article.

Also, no mention of the fact that you didn't hold Texas?

Tyler Bubblar
Tyler Bubblar Day 2,058, 23:29

The answer is tablet glitch.

Josh Frost
Josh Frost Day 2,058, 23:19

Why not?

wingfield Day 2,058, 23:48

but we don't hold Texas any more ...

Evil.Elvis Day 2,058, 23:54

this was published 50 minutes ago?

Thedillpickl Day 2,058, 23:58

Texas tan line. vote

Tyler Bubblar
Tyler Bubblar Day 2,059, 00:45

Did a little editing.

Ronald Gipper Reagan
Ronald Gipper Reagan Day 2,059, 00:49

Over 500 years? xD. oRly?

The oldest continuously occupied settlement in the US is St. Augustine, FL.... since 1565.... so I call BS.

But hey, if we're just making stuff up then I am a direct descendant of Constantine the Great....

olivermellors Day 2,059, 00:58

you may have forgotten that there were people here for about 15000 years before the europeans arrived.

Ronald Gipper Reagan
Ronald Gipper Reagan Day 2,059, 01:25

No, he was inferring his family were Spanish settlers.

Tyler Bubblar
Tyler Bubblar Day 2,059, 02:55

My family came over with Cortez and Coronado, Spanish land grants stretched for miles both north and south of the Rio Grande, I love the USA, but it's not the wholeof No rth America, nice try fail troll.

Tyler Bubblar
Tyler Bubblar Day 2,059, 03:08

Cortez expedition was 1519-1521, Coronado was 1540-1544is, my bad over 490 years on my criollo greatgr andfather's side, and more than 1000 on my mestizo great grandmother's side. Seriously though my bad for being off by 6 and a half years, way to nail me Ajay!

Ludonarr Day 2,059, 07:39

Inexcusable Tyler, go hang your head in shame!

Drew Blood
Drew Blood Day 2,060, 03:43

Actually it is Oraibi, Arizona was founded sometime before the year 1100 AD, making it one of the oldest continuously inhabited settlements within the United States.

dmjohnston Day 2,060, 06:50

RGR, you're adopted, your parents don't even love you.

dmjohnston Day 2,060, 06:51

Artist recreation of RGR's last birthday party:

Evil.Elvis Day 2,060, 22:06

actually, for once, RGR is correct.

St. Augustine was the first settlement of the Spanish (the first europeans to settle), I live just down the road from there, and my hometown, St. Marys, Ga, was the second spanish colony, and thus, is the second oldest city in the United States.

don't believe me? read line one:,_Florida

Duncan Crowe
Duncan Crowe Day 2,059, 11:08


Texan Cowboy
Texan Cowboy Day 2,059, 12:14

True Texans are glad that this American occupation finally ended after little over 24 hours...Texas is free once more!

Jon Barack Bluejacket
Jon Barack Bluejacket Day 2,059, 23:24

Serb who thinks Texas is to the US what Kosovo was to Serbia.

Norbengo Day 2,060, 11:21

Over 50% of Texas population are Mexicans and I don't see anything about their culture here, only some redneck gun culture, so racist...

Tyler Bubblar
Tyler Bubblar Day 2,060, 16:03

Considering I'm Hispanic that's a tough sell. Nice try

Norbengo Day 2,060, 16:49

Your ancestry is European, not Mexican.
You claim of being descendant from conquistadors is a lie, but even so, conquistadors were nothing but thieves and murderers whom have destroyed great American civilisations.

Tyler Bubblar
Tyler Bubblar Day 2,060, 17:41

I suggest you look up the word mestizo, my great grandmother was a mestizo, you can call me a liar, but you can't prove it. I have half a millenia of genealogy to back me up. That said I'm done feeding Serbian trolls. Good day

nick.bergman Day 2,060, 20:09

Comment deleted

AlmightySo Day 2,060, 19:41

shutup you genocidacal serbian. I dont see you guys talking about how you innocently murdered thousands of people, and 50% norbengo? Man the education in serbia must be the rate of a whore house hooker teaching you

Nicholas Leimenstoll
Nicholas Leimenstoll Day 2,060, 15:24

stop starting RW's in polish and hungarian territory....its only making it harder for us to retake serbian territory.

AlmightySo Day 2,060, 19:42

nicholas hop on irc and well explain the strategy to you!

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