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Afternoon gents o/

Chaotic scenes last Thursday as the currency market finally reacted to a rare display of the eUK briefly working together again. Said one temporarily Argentinian London city banker: “it’s a bloody/sangrienta nightmare mate! If they keep it up they might even publish an article!”

Even a quick, if forced, return to the usual peacetime hobby of bashing TUP failed to prevent a further slide of the pound. An insider from the BoE revealed a bleak analysis that further common cause would have devastating effects on age-old classics, such as ‘you irredeemable bast***’, ‘that’s my medal’, and national favourite: ‘why the **** am I still playing this game?’

God-Emperor HueyBot was approached for comment but had been left unplugged overnight. Regretfully, after patiently waiting for him to sober up, the vCP had to do…

"We have here a brief but telling moment that, even in what was technically a failure, we can still enjoy the game together - no nonsense, no grudges. When we confront things as a community rather than a party or a single person - it is its own reward.

In peacetime it’s easy to get bored and restless. Hopefully we can be a bit more adventurous if folk reckon we could keep it up - preferably after we’ve built some supplies up again though...”


FURTHER NEWS FROM THE FOREIGN OFFICE

After AMD had what seemed like his 40th fire-and-rehire ceremony, the cause of this Argy strike on London became apparent in the form of the novelty Universal (Malcolm Tucker) Translator he’d recommended. Cost cutting. Nothing to worry about.

Suspicions were first raised when a relatively straightforward economic missive to Spain over resource rentals came back with a winking face emoji, followed by a mystifying: “Don’t tell my wife”

Officials urgently reviewed messages sent to other governments and I will leave your imagination to come up with what may’ve been sent to Argentina.

Gov has promised to be extra-sensitive from now on...


Speaking to you safely from the unconquerable region of the Falklands (UK),
eUK Gov Team.