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Gentlepeople,

It has come to my attention that an article is desired from me. I have been relatively quiet since my call for an occupation of Indonesia, and as I can see we are exceeding my expectations by leaps and bounds. But enough about the Vice Presidency, imperialist conquests, or my ego, let’s talk about inflating my ego in other ways. Because I love this country, and I certainly love you.

I had debated running for President in previous months, but honestly apathy is a terrible thing. I had desired to run against Orikfricai last round but figured Pfeiffer was a better guy since he actually invested in trying to get the job. It has come to my attention that Wild Owl is running for President, so that’s pretty cool. I probably would have had a better chance last month, but being VP this month has been a blast. I got to write things, be a little silly, you know, really make my mark on the world. But running against Wild Owl? He's like super popular, world renowned, and like a bird thing. You’d have to be a fool to run against that.

Let me be your fool. Or better yet, let me return to a serious stance. Our nation is crumbling. We have poor internal organization, a lack of effort towards what should have been inspiring military organizations, and seemingly little care that we are losing a war we should have won a few days after I wrote my last article. Addressing that incoming criticism of “why didn’t you fix it Naz, you are so brave and strong,” I didn’t fix it because I’m in a meaningless position that probably should have been axed a couple of years ago. STAY TUNED FOR WHO I PICK AS MY VP.

This was originally going to be a “rah, rah, vote for congress” article, but you all know what to do tomorrow without me telling you so. Let’s turn the page to the next election season now, and make this exciting for everyone. I want to give you guys a race, and you can join me or not, it’s your call. If you want to talk to me about this, I have no cabinet. I don’t even own a side-table, or a bed frame. I want you to help me build my furniture. Send me lots of messages and I will get back to you. To sum up what I will hopefully talk about in later articles, my campaign theme will be “Let’s Try To Care About This.” This being everything.

Ciao.

Official, Fully Accredited, 100% Legit, First, Last Vice President of the United States (and maybe your once-again-future-President)

Azazel Romanov