[FED] Congratulations Beach Bunny
Day 2,814, 18:30
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Paul Proteus
Congratulations to our new President Beach Bunny. I have nothing to say that is not better written here. Good luck Beach Bunny, it's not a fun job, but I know you'll do well and exceed expectations.
The original article is saved below for posterity.
It's politics, check back next week for weather~
This is an official Federalist...Paper
As the election draws closer, by all accounts an election that will rival this past month, and all other elections, in the forecasted competition and the strong support that both candidates have elicited, I feel compelled as the Political Director of the Federalist Party to put the will of the largest party in the country to paper with the hopes that this expression of our collective political will can help to effect what we believe to be best not for ourselves, but for the nation.
At this point it should be obvious, the stakes could not be higher
Still, while uncertainty rocks the nation, it exerts no force on the Federalist Party. So, without further ado...
The Federalist Endorsement
Garnering 100% more votes than the closest competitor, Tyler Bubblar has overwhelmingly won the Federalist nomination for the proverbial four more weeks. The Federalist Party has confidently placed its endorsement for President with Tyler Bubblar.
Serving as both a referendum on the achievements of this past term, as well as a strong reminder that Tyler has not lost the trust of his own party, The Federalist Party is proud to run Tyler for the position of President in August.
Look into his bold eagle-like eyes, America
Love in the Time of Tuberculosis
Notably less well written than Marquez
Still, this is more than a simple Party Endorsement. Before I leave you to go back to your clicking, I'd like to write a few words from the heart as to why I will be voting for Tyler tomorrow, and why I believe the Federalist Party has bestowed on Tyler such an honor time and time again.
Vote for the candidate, not the shoddy poster
Simply put, Tyler is not just the best candidate this months, he's one of the best candidates there is. He doesn't treat the Presidency as a laurel, but rather approaches the office as one recruited, forced through merit and will to do the tough job that many strive for, and almost as many fail to conquer even once elected. Since I first worked with Tyler he has been a model in his work for this country and his attitude. In an administration with no direction, he singlehandedly ran a media unit of nearly unprecedented vigor and action. Since then he's successfully improved every institution he's touched, from the party to national level, and has brought a no-nonsense attitude deep into the heart of an executive once plagued by pettiness and infighting. And even as Tyler has pushed himself at the highest levels of office, he has never stopped putting in work when he can to improve a party suffering from unprecedented inactivty. The point of the matter is, where some can claim their work ethic, Tyler has the non-stop achievements to prove his.
This has never been clearer than this past month, where in one term Tyler has successfully led the eUS to military activity in Europe that both aided our allies and allowed eMerikans access to the module that is the heart and soul of what's left of the game. The merger of the DoE and DoI under his administration may not be a flashy achievement, but its the sort of bureaucratic necessity that is thanklessly achieved, and more often ignored than is generally imagined by those unexperienced with the endless machinations of bureaucracy. Finally, Tyler worked effectively with a diverse cabinet, finding the best in players previously consigned to the fringes of governance, and bringing out their best work. The Bubblar administration has been both cohesive and effective.
Truly, Tyler represents both the worker and manager that makes a great President, and I am proud, personally and as the Political Director of the Federalists to confer our endorsement on him. TB4CP.
Vote Tyler Bubblar for a GIF in every pot!
I hope this article wasn't too dry. I try.
Proteus Out~
The original article is saved below for posterity.
It's politics, check back next week for weather~
This is an official Federalist...Paper
As the election draws closer, by all accounts an election that will rival this past month, and all other elections, in the forecasted competition and the strong support that both candidates have elicited, I feel compelled as the Political Director of the Federalist Party to put the will of the largest party in the country to paper with the hopes that this expression of our collective political will can help to effect what we believe to be best not for ourselves, but for the nation.
At this point it should be obvious, the stakes could not be higher
Still, while uncertainty rocks the nation, it exerts no force on the Federalist Party. So, without further ado...
The Federalist Endorsement
Garnering 100% more votes than the closest competitor, Tyler Bubblar has overwhelmingly won the Federalist nomination for the proverbial four more weeks. The Federalist Party has confidently placed its endorsement for President with Tyler Bubblar.
Serving as both a referendum on the achievements of this past term, as well as a strong reminder that Tyler has not lost the trust of his own party, The Federalist Party is proud to run Tyler for the position of President in August.
Look into his bold eagle-like eyes, America
Love in the Time of Tuberculosis
Notably less well written than Marquez
Still, this is more than a simple Party Endorsement. Before I leave you to go back to your clicking, I'd like to write a few words from the heart as to why I will be voting for Tyler tomorrow, and why I believe the Federalist Party has bestowed on Tyler such an honor time and time again.
Vote for the candidate, not the shoddy poster
Simply put, Tyler is not just the best candidate this months, he's one of the best candidates there is. He doesn't treat the Presidency as a laurel, but rather approaches the office as one recruited, forced through merit and will to do the tough job that many strive for, and almost as many fail to conquer even once elected. Since I first worked with Tyler he has been a model in his work for this country and his attitude. In an administration with no direction, he singlehandedly ran a media unit of nearly unprecedented vigor and action. Since then he's successfully improved every institution he's touched, from the party to national level, and has brought a no-nonsense attitude deep into the heart of an executive once plagued by pettiness and infighting. And even as Tyler has pushed himself at the highest levels of office, he has never stopped putting in work when he can to improve a party suffering from unprecedented inactivty. The point of the matter is, where some can claim their work ethic, Tyler has the non-stop achievements to prove his.
This has never been clearer than this past month, where in one term Tyler has successfully led the eUS to military activity in Europe that both aided our allies and allowed eMerikans access to the module that is the heart and soul of what's left of the game. The merger of the DoE and DoI under his administration may not be a flashy achievement, but its the sort of bureaucratic necessity that is thanklessly achieved, and more often ignored than is generally imagined by those unexperienced with the endless machinations of bureaucracy. Finally, Tyler worked effectively with a diverse cabinet, finding the best in players previously consigned to the fringes of governance, and bringing out their best work. The Bubblar administration has been both cohesive and effective.
Truly, Tyler represents both the worker and manager that makes a great President, and I am proud, personally and as the Political Director of the Federalists to confer our endorsement on him. TB4CP.
Vote Tyler Bubblar for a GIF in every pot!
I hope this article wasn't too dry. I try.
Proteus Out~
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Comments
Thank you Paul and thank you to my Party. The Feds have always been my home and will remain so forever.
89 votes, 2 comments - 100% legit
xD
Fed primaries:
Tyler: 10 votes
BeachBunny: 5 votes
Yeah, an overwhelming victory!
Yep. I think that's statistically pretty significant lol
Significant is that you are a lousy propagandist.
Instead of writing: Tyler got 66% of the vote, you write:
''Garnering 100% more votes than the closest competitor, ...''
in order to call it an ''overwhelming win''.
Let's see how overwhelmingly he will lose today's election!
xD
That was just having fun with words. This article exists because I'm responsible for communicating the results of the Fed primary, thus I had some fun with it. Percentages can be fun. There are a few incontrovertible facts, the Feds, by most definitions, overwhelmingly supported Tyler.
If you can't handle that, well, that's a shame, but most people have enough analytical ability and knowledge of my writing that they could see what I was saying. It's hardly propaganda, but I look forward to you commenting on every other political article with similar veracity 😉
Well the figure from the Fed primary voting says that 66% support him.
And judging by the results in the CP election so far, he is losing it.
Funny how this is happening to a candidate about whom you write:
''Simply put, Tyler is not just the best candidate this months, he's one of the best candidates there is.''
I think he's a good candidate. I also thought rainy was 😉
You linked my post! Huzzah