[EDITORIAL] Yagami Mii, get out

Day 1,673, 00:37 • Published in Japan Japan • by Fruitcommando


Dear citizens of eJapan and loyal readers, I will be reporting today on a very pig-disgusting breakout, and that is the brony infection. You may be asking yourself right now, well Der Kaiser what exactly is a brony? On a Scientific level, the official name for "bronies" is Foedus Equus-Porcus Latin for foul Pig-horse or what I like to call Pig-disgusting horse mutants. Sadly a well respjected member of the eJapanese community, Yagami Mii has revealed its secret that it is in fact one of these pig-disgusting horse mutants. All attempts at cures for these diseased mutants have failed, not even local wizard Nicholas2000 (the Toad Wizard) could find a solution, however we will keep on the fight to find the cure. If you would like to contribute simply donate to your local tax collector and mention the "pig-horse program"

Official statement on the issue from Alfred-Ball, MoFA of eJapan:
"The situation is under control, there is nothing to worry about and eJapan is completely safe! The "Bronies" have been temporarily relocated to two private facilities nearby."

However earlier today Yagami Mii was asked if he/she would consider a vaccine for his/her disease, in which it said "I have no idea why I am still on this planet I should be in Equestria" which was perceived as Yagami Mii considering committing suicide instead of face the dishonor of being diseased, such is Japanese tradition.

Writer and Editor Der Kaiser FructeKommandante commented on the issue: "this is Dio's way of punishing the heretics, where I have failed Dio shall succeed in a mass removal of swedes"

for now, This has been Der Kaiser FructeKommandante signing off.