To E-love or not to E-love

Day 671, 15:01 • Published in Canada Canada • by screamingslave

Please support the efforts of our military and our allies by following orders when you fight.

The last few weeks have been hard. As i've sat at home bored with nothing to do I've been reading articles around the e-world that are overflowing with e-love. At first this made me sad, maybe even a touch lonely, but slowly a resentment began to brew.

Late last night as I made my usual trip over to my favorite cam girl site to get a little human connection I thought long and hard about my e-love situation.

To be honest, I longed for something more. But what?

After completing the task at hand I found myself unable to sleep. I lie still but awake and thought about the concept of love and marriage.

At first I considered the pros:




I really feel bad for the guy in the water?

All of those things seem nice, but what about the future? I’m one to always look ahead and think of what may come to pass if I make one choice or another.

So let us consider the future cons of finding that somebody special:


After every fight you need to clean up a pile of broken glass from something that got hurled at you.

It won’t be long before she finds somebody else to replace you. At first you don’t mind, until it takes a swipe at you and the scratch is itchy for 2 days.

There is always the danger of extra mouths to feed showing up, and then you have to move to Greece for better wages.

And in the end…

Eventually the passion fades and you are left alone again anyway

So I think all in all I’m better off taking preventative measures before I’m facing a PTO in my house that leaves my treasury empty and all the neighbours pissed at me.

I screamingslave officially take a vow of E-celibacy. I promise never to post an article about getting married! (except this one)


so that i dont ever end up like this!

And with that i welcome you to my newspaper. One day it may be serious, while the next it may be satirical. However what i promise is that it will always encourage you to Think Ahead and consider your future before you act in the present.