Time For A Schism

Day 3,741, 18:07 • Published in Croatia Croatia • by Khorek

This is an article I hoped I would not have to write.



I myself am but a humble Harambist.As such I rarely do more with my day than TwoClick in his name,with the occassional activism.Now is once more the time for activism.

It has come to my attention that the Church of The Latter Day Harambe is attempting to centralize and monopolize upon the teachings of Harambe.They claim a monopoly on His Truth.As such I have written this in protest of the attempted hierarchical structuring of my faith,as well as to proclaim my dissacossiation with the Church of The Latter Day Harambe.Furthermore I shall elucidate upon why.

1.There is no authority above,nor equal to Harambe
2.Many parts of the Book of Salty are mistranslated from Gorrilaspeak,edited,or otherwise tampered with
3.Maxwell Hanz claims to speak to Harambe in his dreams;not just a sign of mental instability,but a blasphemous attempt to brand himself as a Prophet of sorts
4.As such,he purports to have an authority upon His Truth equal to that of Harambe
5.Thus the entire Book of Maxwell is naught but a fictitious,dishonest,sophistic,underhanded attempt to monopolize His Truth
6.Just as The Zookeeper destroyed the physical body of Harambe,Maxwell seeks to destroy the spiritual body of His Truth and obscure His Path