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Hello eUK,

Now you are probably wondering what the hell this is and why you are wasting your time reading it, well let me tell you a little story.

I was sleeping last night and a mysterious leprechaun came to my dreams and said “You must make a series of terrible news articles, the fate of the world depends on it”. So I told the leprechaun “sure why not” and then the leprechaun mysteriously vanished.


Here is a picture of the leprechaun

So here is the first of many not so serious news articles, which will never be truly factual. This series will be happening once a week (if I can be bothered to write a news article once a week) and it should come out on Sunday (no promises). This series of articles will mostly focus on UK news and will rarely talk about foreign affairs, because I am too lazy to do any research and so just as a formality before I begin I have to say these points.

Warning the jokes I tell in this article will rarely be funny and will often be downright pathetic.

Warning the spelling and grammar in this article may be terrible.

Warning this will make Jar Jar Binks look smart.



So without further ado, here is the list of content for today:
Sir Nick has been fired, by a really big ant.
A group of party presidents have been elected.
The home of the leprechauns and the home of the posh have a peace treaty
Some sleazy self-advertising.
My final words.

Recently some guy named Sir Nick Griffin was given a few hours to take this stuff and leave the MoHA. According to our current dictator Big Ant, he has used his power, recruit our young ebabies to his party, so that he can advance his evil schemes, which includes stealing all our monkeys and killing Santa Claus. Of course even through all this Big Ant has allowed a chef to oversee the daily activities of the MoHA. So my words to the chef include “GET BACK TO THE KITCHEN” and “MAKE ME A SANDWICH”.



On other news the PP elections are now over and many people tried a failed to gain ownership over there party, so anyway here are the results.

UKPP
Sir Nick Griffin with 33 votes (ok so even without the MoHA, Sir Nick still wants to advance his evil schemes).

TUP
The Equalist with 83 votes (looks like the name lies, the votes were not spread equally).

UKPP Jr (New Era)
King Hannibal of ASIA with 43 votes (Hannibal Barca was better).

ESO
JamesW with 49 votes (remember kids always blame JamesW).

UKPP Jr the second (UKIP/One Vision)
Joshua Whelan (I have a brother called Josh, he has ADHD).

UKRP
Darkmantle with 22 votes (oh shite, we are all doomed, DOOMED)!



Let’s all be happy since it looks like the leprechauns and the posh people are becoming friends (this friendship may have benefits, if you know what I mean). This means those evil leaves cannot get to us because they are also friends with our friend and our friend will block those evil leaves path. This is very good news for the posh and for my sausage.



Now finally join UKRP we are the best party around (I did tell you there was going to be some sleazy advertising).

Now finally (yes I said now finally twice), if I have insulted, hopefully I can make it write by saying to the world, that I am a mad nerd who has no life and I think I am a Jedi. I have failed to get into congress after multiple attempts over the past 2 years, so yeah you can smile now that you know, you are all better than me.

Now finally (yes this will be the last now finally for tonight), goodbye

Painkiller789
Another mad nerd.