How e-Babies Are Made with Jon Malcom and Dumb Emma! (*) (*) ---D
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by Jon Malcom
Dear Erepublik,
It's been awhile since I broached the subject of sexuality and I did that on purpose. Let me explain...
The night started off like all the other nights Dumb Emma and I had met at Italian Cafe. (btw a great restaurant in RL $3.99 all you can eat pasta).
She told me she had something really amazing to tell me, now Dumb Emma was the kind of girl that you wanted to touch and stuff but you knew she'd look at you once and say "eww peni*"
Basically her mom has a picture of us on the refrigerator looking like this:
But that was years ago and I'd lost weight, gained muscle, and hit puberty.
I was about to order a canolie when she blurted out:
Which made me think of:
"I am too."
"Let's check into a motel and do dirty things to each other." She said with a smile.
This was it. It was really happening.
Ok all that may be fake or true (it's true) but these real PM's did happen.
Jon Malcom to Dumb Emma | yesterday
How are you doing?
Dumb Emma to Jon Malcom | yesterday
I'm doing fine.
Just had a bit of extra time today so i thought i'd waste it here instead of being productive.
😃
Jon Malcom to Dumb Emma | yesterday
Good choice, I have been sick today so I've been wasting time for awhile.
Also shame on you for making me google something called beautiful agony, she did seem like she was having the time of her life imo.
Dumb Emma to Jon Malcom | yesterday
It's SFW porn!
😮
Hope you feel better, being sick sucks ass.
Jon Malcom to Dumb Emma | yesterday
Yeah but now we know what you look at. All those other videos....
So that's where babies come from? The man puts his thing in the woman's mouth part?
What happened to the mommy and daddy wrestling under the covers? Or the stork?
Dumb Emma to Jon Malcom | yesterday
The daddy shoots liquified stork out of his dork and that's the story.
Dumb Emma to Jon Malcom | yesterday
This should be an article. How e-babies are made.
Jon Malcom to Dumb Emma | yesterday
I thought she was rubbing lotion all over her face? Wait you mean these videos aren't about moisturizer?
Jon Malcom to Dumb Emma | 23 hours ago
So what does the mommy do anyway and why is the mommy making all those noises? Is the daddy hurting her?
Dumb Emma to Jon Malcom | 23 hours ago
only if hes doing it right.
Jon Malcom to Dumb Emma | 22 hours ago
So she's supposed to be hurt?
Dumb Emma to Jon Malcom | 6 hours ago
Only if she wants and i sometimes do.
Jon Malcom to Dumb Emma | 6 hours ago
Well if the lingerie fits then wear it provocatively.
Long story short, Dumb Emma watches porn, and she destroyed my innocence.
Also had a dream about having sex with Bia Pandora today.
I go to work and get fired. I feel like I should've slept in.
(I could never seem to please Bia)
Man these pretzels are making me thirsty!
(Dumb Emma and I are going to have a girl)
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We're naming her Morrigan Tiacha Malcom.
Aunt Kara Beth will be there when she's not running for the Republican nomination 🙂
What a beautiful baby name
Don't be silly wrap your willy.
The tears that were supposed to be from laughter didn't stop. I felt like the last person on earth. As if I, alone, had wandered somewhere I didn't belong. I was unable to hear anything, see anything, think anything.
And then I was free.
Dips on being GodFather
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS I FEEL WOOZY. Also voted.
That last pic is jail bait you know.
Strong Vote!!!
\o/
dont be a fool wrap your tool
this makes my privates tingle.
Italian food?
Fail.
i lol'd so hard omg,this is awesome.
Virgins? Naw, man. Gimme a woman that knows what she's doin', ANY. DAY. OF. THE. WEEK. /comments
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
lol
Jon, don't choke on the pretzels.
DEmma, we need to hear from you.
hmm...