Dinossauro for President!

Day 1,316, 17:57 • Published in USA USA • by dinossauro
Dinssauro for President



Sup America,

First of all, add me as friend and join my party. I know, you also love FlorenciaC, join the party then, she deserves the best! ANYWAY I’m writing it because I’ve decided run for the Presidency of USA, you’d better know who I am, if you don’t know, shame on you! I can introduce myself anyway, I’m dinossauro and it’s a pleasure for you vote on me, thanks. I am a hot (male) brozilian IRL, I’ve been SC of Terra, MoFA of Brozil, First Lady of Jazar, and other stuff.



Terra is useless to us, especially if we ever hope to annex countries. We don’t want to stay in an Alliance that cares about erased countries and not in our desires of conquering some country/keeping our conquered regions. We will follow the United Kingdom’s example of neutrality, we will keep some allies in Eden and Terra, but only the core members so that they influence the rest of the alliance not to invade us. Then we’ll send MPPs to ONE and largely fight for them so we can be on the winning side. It’s idiotic to remain in the alliance. We refuse to continue losing regions for minimal support in return. We are one of the strongest nations in the world, and like in rl, we will not fall! We can storm their beaches and conquer more land. United we cannot fail! We don’t want to be with allies, we want be with our true brothers, so we’ll reconcile with SpA -Spain Poland America-. We’ll make a MU and we’ll fight for our brothers, that’s why we want to leave the alliance, WHO NEEDS ALLIES WHEN YOU HAVE BROTHERS, AND WE DON’T CARE IF THEY FORCE US TO LEAVE OUR COLONIES, WE DON’T CARE IF THEY DON’T HELP US TO PROTECT THEM, ‘COZ THEY ARE OUR BROTHERS, and yes, Canada... you’re out, ‘coz you are in Terra and since I have Spaniards friends I want to be in SpA, even though if I have to pay them to be friends. We’ll wear avatars like this, so everybody will know how much we love each other:


Notice the pig-disgusting on the A

HAIL SPAIN!
HAIL POLAND!
HAIL AMERICA!
HAIL SPA!

Yes, maybe we have been fighting with one another lately, but this is normal for brothers. Every brother has his fights with his younger brother, and now the fight is over. Place the band-aid on and move on! It is time to be behave like a family again! Don’t you remember Lion King? Don’t you remember Hello Kitty? Do you remember? I remember. We fought alongside each other like brothers, and we can do it again! Forgive each other, like Jesus would say.

Right after that we want to attack, hmmm, I don’t know... maybe Vuvuzela, or Canada. Who cares if Canada has been there always? We want to be with Spain and Poland, and to show them our commitment to the Brotherhood we’ll attack Canada. Canada is a weak country and is only alive because of VISA players (TemujinBC). Also Canada routinely defends Ireland against the United Kingdom, which is a HUGE damage drain. This is not something we need in an ally. We need an ally that will only fight for our battles and not their own selfish needs! We should focus on getting ourselves resources, then we can worry about helping them.
Also Spaniards have conquered many of our regions and they have cut off our bonuses, to avoid it we’ll give tanking gold to every single American. (yes, even you Pfeiffer). Although this probably won’t be an issue much longer, since we’ll reconcile with our Spanish brothers! But in any case, we’ll take the treasury and give it to the American people directly, no bureaucracy, simply your money back in its fullest for you to use to get stronger and have fun. I will be the modern day robin hood of erepublik. I’ll take from the rich and give to the poor. No mouth shall go unfed! Food and weapons for everyone!





We’ll need a babyboom but what have we got to do to get it? I promise you, America, that I’ll sell my xbox if it’s necessary, I’ll give you my College tuition, I’ll give handies in truck stops to get some money and pay for it, I mean guess it should be enough to pay a good advertising in some popular website. It’s a simple plan, I will use this invasion to make our babies keep playing. Also, they will be excited because I will donate gold to everyone. Also, I think I can get some skin-heads into this game, and generally those people tend to be very nationalistic and addicted to this endless trolling. Maybe even a giant billboard with a pic of a hot chick will attract lonely college freshmen or highschoolers. Who knows? The possibilities are endless. The point is, I’m going to put down money for advertisements and I anticipate we will get quite a bit of players from it, even if they all turn out to be fascists or porn addicts. This is the Internet, so really I don’t care who we get, so long as they help make America stronger!



In addition, it is time we merged all of the social groups. Better yet, lets get rid of all the partys and create only one party, the Free America Party. Under the FAP, we’ll run only qualified and aspiring members of our strong nation, not power-hungry demons, like those of the USWP. We will hold pre-determined elections, on an off-site forum where we can manipulate the votes to ensure we get only the best of the best of candidates. Remember when St Krems was president? That month we suspended democracy to ensure we had a pto-free America. We can do it again! We will all be one party, one people, one leader! Put aside the mudslinging that has plagued our politics, we’re all on the same team. You’re not actually a soldier because you’re in the military, nor a politician because you’re in a party. But anyways, we won’t discriminate against any of you, you’re all equal. Together, America, we can do it!



Pfeiffer will buy gold, lots and lots of gold, and give it to the government. We’ll use this gold and sell it on the monetary market to stabilize the peg and fix the economy. Its quite simple really, Pfeiffer will buy the gold, the government sells it on the market, and the value of USD will skyrocket. You have hoarded thousands of USD you say? No problem! You’ll be making more money from your companies and wages will be better. There’s no limit on how much gold he can buy so brace yourselves, we’re going to be rolling in the dough! Also, we are going to give gold to you, the taxpayer, so that you can buy export licenses to developing countries! Yes! Capitalism does exist! Show the world how Americans can dominate the financial world. We need to fill their markets like the Chinese fill ours with cheap goods irl. Except we’ll pay our workers well with a strong currency, and we’ll all be living in Q5 homes soon enough!



This is America, the land of the free and home of the brave!

God bless America!



Cabinet:

President: Dinossauro
Vice-President: Glove
First Lady: JPVS

I decided put Glove here ‘coz he’s love and I love his thickness. And about my First Lady, I put JPVS ‘coz I know he loves me, even though he insults me all the time.


Secretary of Defense: Ilphen
Deputy Secretary of Defense: Poland

We’ve decided put ilphen as SoD ‘coz someone told us to, we don’t know why but hey, there it is. And about Poland, well... we all know about their f*cking awesome strategy (/sarcasm off) but we want to give them a chance by putting them as deputy, and also anything is better than Fluffer, I mean, he can’t win anything.
>Run for 3 elections
>Slurp everyone, give all top 5 party presidents cabinet jobs to get their party endorsements
>still lose

Huehuehue

Maybe another 3 tries and he’ll win the presidency. JUST MAYBE
But whatever, who cares about Fluffer.

Secretary of State: Jazar
Deputy Secretary of State: Emerick

Jazar will be SoS ‘coz I want him to be, and that’s all. And about Emerick, we all know about his great job as SG of terra (/sarcasm off), he just lost a country and made the alliance die pfftt... no big deal.

Secretary of the Interior: aeriala
Deputy Secretary of the Interior: Atracurium

To be Frerk, I don’t know wtf this position is even for, but aeriala will be there, ‘coz he’s just like Justin Bieber. Talks a lot and attracts young little girls. (and he’s Canadian)
And about our deputy, he’s Chinese, and it’s like all Chinese people are cool, so he’s in.

Secretary of Education: derpmont

Well, derpmont has an extensive knowledge about butt-raping (DON’T ASK ME WHY) so I think it will be useful ‘coz we’re getting raped. Seriously, have you ever wondered how to do it without feeling pain? Well he told me once you start with some baby oil and rub it...ok well you should just ask him, he’ll be able to explain it better.

Secretary of Treasury: Harrison Richardson

We know he’ll do a good job and he will fill the coffers with a lot of gold.

Secretary of Technology: Some Russian.

We’ll send DDoS attacks to anybody who bothers us and our great nation.

Hail Skynet!

Hail Botland!

Hail Microsoft!

(We’ll send a DDoS attack to Fluffer, and I GUESS THAT’S ENOUGH TO VOTE FOR ME)

Advisors:

FlorenciaC
Thatcher
Kandom aka Kondom
Cavalcanti
hopez0r
sisisi
pthut

‘Coz they’re awesome.

And basically that’s all.



I’d like to thank everyone who supported me, especially those who helped me with this amazing article, and those who gave me awesum ideas for goals. Now it’s time to work, but first I need your vote. You won’t waste your vote, I will be completely committed, that’s for sure! I promise you glory, I will bring your pride back because THIS IS AMERICA!! We can’t accept this mess we live nowadays, WE WON’T ACCEPT BEING TREATED AS SECOND CLASS CITIZENS, and you all have the key to open the door of success, and I’m sitting behind this door. Open it!

That’s all folks,

Dinossauro

P.S.: I use Caps ‘COZ I CAN.

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