Citizens Relieved After Presidential Rescue

Day 4,566, 08:20 • Published in USA USA • by Martin Reichert
The President and Cabinet Almost Die a Fiery Death


In the Press Briefing this morning Vice President SColbert told the story of last nights plane crash over the Brooks Mountain range, a flight which carried the entire cabinet. Let us walk through what happened, last night as the Pravda White House Correspondent was going to bed, they were called to the Press Briefing room while an intern stood at the podium. The intern announced Air Force One had crash landed, that there were survivors, but could not comment further on the story. The intern then left the podium and the White House Reporters Pool was left speechless.

Apparently, the Air Force Pilots, piloting Air Force One were given an order to be relieved mid-flight. Press Secretary Paul Proteus then took control of the plane, and that is where the flight from hell started. Due to Proteus’ lack of experience as a pilot and a sudden onset storm, the plane took a nosedive. President Bubblar and the rest of the Cabinet were located and rescued several hours later due again to the weather.

We at Pravda were relieved to know that the President and the rest of the Cabinet are safe and sound. What we are questioning is the wisdom to keep Air Force Pilots at the stick of government airplanes. Considering most of the senior White House officials are themselves in the command and control structure we may face a crisis like this again.

Obviously having unionized pilots ferry everyone around is the obvious and sensible solution to this problem. When questioned during yesterday’s briefing the Vice President had this to say, “Tyler is a well known union buster. He insists we only pay our pilots using those coupons that children make for their parents as gifts saying they'll do chores.” Pravda feels this is another blatant attack on the American Worker and the President should clarify his position on Unions in this country.

We have yet to receive a response from the Pilots Union Local 747 based out of Nebraska. If we receive a comment we will update this article.

Update …

The Pilots Union Local 747 had this statement, “The only effective answer to organized greed, is organized labor. This dangerous incident is a prime example of the Cabinet’s greed and lack of self-discipline.”



- MH Reichert