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Hello Great Nation,

This is a government approved article giving you the facts you need to go about your eLives untroubled by any other opinion or viewpoint.

Before we begin I would like to address those who accused this publication/writer of falling below the usual high standards I/he/she/it has/does set.

This is quite clearly an attempt by hostile foreign media types to destabilise our country and cast aspersions upon its brilliant and modest government operatives.

Now let us gaze into the truth orifice.







Troubling.
Scary.
Sabotage.
Thick.

These are words.

I use these words in some sentences.

Someone or something (probably an enemy of this country) has removed my world map from the Erepublik home page.

This another clear attempt to destabilise our government by making us click more than is necessary thus reducing our capabilities to see stuff that is there.

Whilst some may scoff and point out other more pressing issues I say this:

“Go press your issues to an exposed power supply and make sure they’re wet”.

If you citizen are suffering from the same act of terror then please inform me but under no circumstances inform the leader.

He’s not currently aware of the situation and I’d like to keep it that way.







It’s all going according to plan.

The Leader has not shown me the plan but I am assured that all is well.

Our friends and allies in O’Ryan are supporting where they can and we are making great strides.

We have a region.

We have...our...health…?

We are giving this country back to you the people?

I am contractually obligated to inform you that members of Pacifica are silly and suck baboons bottoms.






Those who fight without direction and complete obedience to the government are traitors.

Or not very well informed.

But it is pretty much the same crime and is punishable by nothing in particular *.

The Ministry politely requests that you subscribe to the Ministry of Defence paper and follow all orders you are given.

Click on the image below to get there and then press subscribe.




*Actually I’ve thought of a punishment.
You have to watch while the Leader and Fingerguns awkwardly flirt in some weird internet chatroom.









As mentioned in my previous update Congress had done talking about tax for at least four days.

Unfortunately the discussion proved to be too rich and fruitful and they have now all slipped into a diabetic coma.

Fear not, we’ll have a new lot by this time next week.






In an exciting new development I have been given permission, by myself, to offer you the great unwashed the chance to become a Mouthpiece of Truth.

By sending me 100 gold you will become an accredited Mouthpiece of Truth.

This entitles you to clearly state on a newspaper publication of your choice that you the holder are a Ministry of Truth and Home Affairs accredited Mouthpiece of Truth.

In having this you are clearly showing that you are always speaking the Truth as approved by the Government.


Anyway.
Going now.
Can’t think of anything else important.

Praise to the Glorious Breeder,

Karactican

MoTHA

P.s.