[GBM] Americans Shocked to learn CoT is not, in fact, a Collapsible Bed

Day 1,910, 14:24 • Published in USA USA • by Paul Proteus
This article is a satire, which contrary to common belief is not a taco



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Americans shocked to learn CoT is not, fact, a collapsible bed.

Day 1910: Washington DC, eUSA

In the latest news, Americans are collectively coming to the realization that CoT is in fact not a small collapsible bed perfect for guests but instead an acronym for a military alliance in which the US partakes. While CoT officials themselves were unavailable for comment, former American president Fingerguns replied, “No Shit, did anybody actually think that? I think you’re making that up, this paper sucks”.


Just to be clear CoT is NOT a cot

While authorities remain disconnected from the furniture focused public, concerned citizen Malarkey83 was one of many caught off guard by this recent epiphany, quoted as saying “Really? Are you sure? If it’s not a bed maybe it’s a small shelter for livestock or a burrito or something, but cot really doesn’t sound like an alliance” when further pressed Malarkey revealed he thought the recent CoT controversy was more of a “Sleepys vs Posturepedic” issue than an actual policy point.


Totally legit Public Approval graph I didn’t make on MS Paint

In other news, American approval for the CoT alliance has dropped 50 points since the realization that no guests could sleep on it and that it most definitely didn’t match the wallpaper.

What’s next for America? We at Goodbye Blue Monday aren’t quite sure, but we do know we need a new bed!
Note to self, work on punch lines

Local Player Realizes eRepublik isn’t Facebook after 2 years of Playing

Sometime earlier today, Indiana, eUSA

A Mr. Jonathan Doe reported earlier that after two years of playing eRepublik under the moniker “BoogerMan69” he has come to the realization that eRepublik.com is in fact not Facebook. “I must have clicked an ad or something when I was trying to register for facebook, and just gone with it, I mean everyone was an asshole and I didn’t recognize anyone on my friends list, but that’s pretty much how facebook is too, so I didn’t find it that odd”. BoogerMan69 has also credited the shout system, and other similar features as reasons for his confusion. In his two years playing, he has achieved 16 hardworker and 4 Congressional medals as well as “accidentally” becoming President of several small countries. “Yeah screw this, I’m leaving now, man I really thought this was facebook”, BoogerMan69 was reported saying yesterday before logging out forever.

Leading to his realization was the new “eRep v4” login screen that the Admins had secretly shown to citizens


In other words, our photoshop budget got slashed

Elitists Conspire in Global American Conspiracy to keep Goodbye Blue Monday Down



In other words, Hadrian X and ENN have been recognizing quality journalism…
Oh hey, click here to vote for Article of the Month for January!

*Cough*
As I was saying before I interrupted myself, Hadrian and ENN have been recognizing quality journalism, which I’m all for, except not once has the reputable and legitamate Goodbye Blue Monday been recognized for anything! Was it that I didn’t write anything? MAYBE, but that’s certainly not an excuse, as all four of you reading know, GBM is an essential part of eAmericana, and your only source of cutting edge unbiased journalism, so go here and submit this article or any other for article of the week! Now some of my more cynical readers might think this angry rant is actually just advertising ENN…to them I say “shut up” and “have a great day”,

Proteus Out~
Your Moment of Zen:



SEE!? It's topical~


So that wraps up today's Goodbye Blue Monday

Until Next Time,

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