[Breaking] Global Warming - Solved!

Day 3,212, 16:05 • Published in Norway Norway • by Major Lee Hung

Dear citizens,

The brains at the eNorwegian Ministry of Environment have been hard at work lately - protecting you from the perils of modern life. We can today report on a breakthrough on their research in to global warming, and how to reverse it.

The Results

Cause

It is widely accepted that an increase in hurricanes, earthquakes and flooding are attributed to the direct results of global warming. Records show temperatures rising steadily to unprecedented levels. Our research attributes this trend to a steady decrease in the number of pirates.



As you'll see in the above, the number of pirates has declined steadily over the last couple of centuries. On the other hand, global average temperatures have increased.

It is our fear that when the pirates are gone, earth will be a dry, barron & uninhabitable ruin, void of any life.

Remedy

We urge everybody to construct old wooden ships, and begin wondering the seas pillaging every vessel in sight. This is clearly the way any deity intended us to live our lives.
-Page 597 - The MoE Environment Report