I don't remember the feeling anymore

Day 2,578, 10:02 • Published in Croatia North Korea • by William Thomas Riker

Back in the day, probably somwhere around 2010/11 I considered myself to be a big shot in this game.


Well, maybe you are right. But I bet if I were to put a lighter behind it, I'd make a nice solar flare. A dying flame, no doubt...

I hoped with all my heart to be the Captain of the Croatia one day. After all, I wasn't much of a soldier, but was a successful journalist and politician, loved as a benefactor, and I had the economy in my little finger (only a few Croatian players back then could match my wealth, and we were known as the Tycoons who formed the Civilian Brigade). All the qualities I suspected a good CP should have.
However, rules changed often, but that was OK. For me it was merely a challenge o earn gold and to distinguish myself from the rest, even when I lost large amounts of gold on a few ocasions (more than 100 gold each time, back then people would commit suicide). As the game moved forward, it was more restrictive upon the regular cast and favorable for gold buyers. At one point I simply decided to leave the game. It wasn't as hard as I had expected. After about half a year, I came back. After couple of weeks I left again. I returned again, and then left for over a year. I came back about two months ago and I've been wondering ever since what should I concentrate on. By the way, before I left the game for a year, I had downgraded all my TGs and companies, switched half of the gold (for the games that now I have left too) and divided the other to fellow players on my own discretion. In the two months since I've been back, I managed to acquire 5 companies, upgraded all my TGs again, sold the companies. And to tell you the truth, I have no idea what the fuck am I supposed to do. Clearly, time has done its thing, threw me out of the loop, so I couldn't become the CP anymore. Economy is pretty much boring. So I turned to journalism. Yes, I know, I expected too much. My articles in Croatian had no problem hitting the 300-votes mark in the past, and those in English always made it double. Since my comeback, I wrote 10 articles, all in English, and not one hit 200 votes. It's saddening. Makes me think I'm not that great of a journalist after all. Hell, to get the next MM medal, I?d have to get 1530 more subscriptions.


Yeah, I know. Actually, I don't. If I did, I wouldn't make such a face.

Today, I won 3 BHs in D3, less than 5 million each. I really thought they would get me going, you know, the adrenaline of hitting for the BH in last 5 minutes, wondering whether I'll make it.
It's gone. No adrenaline at all. Not even the BH hunt could get me going.

I consider making multies, it's my last resort. The only hope to get the satisfaction for playing this game is to actually break its most sacred rule. I don't care whether I'll get caught or not. But eRep, beware, you have to prove it, before banning me. I might do it, I might not. Why?


Yo Chicken, there's a new bird in town.