How Croatian politicians earn gold fixing the election’s score

Day 887, 10:05 • Published in Croatia North Korea • by William Thomas Riker
Croatian/hrvatski
Ovo je sramota! Srbin je ukrao Bosnu i Hercegovinu, ali zašto se Hrvati međusobno bore za krađu Hrvatske?

Predsjednički izbori. Javila mi se organizacija Croatia helper. Zaključili su da sam odličan političar jer sam ponovno izabran za predsjednika stranke. Nisu prihvaćali moje odbijanje govoreći kako žele baš mene. Naime, htjeli su da istupim iz svoje stranke te da me testiraju za što bi mi dali dva zlata. Ako bih prošao test, učlanio bih se u njihovu stranku koja je u top 5, kandidirao se za njenog predsjednika i pobijedio. Zatim bih se kandidirao za predsjednika države, a oni bi opet namjestili izbore u moju korist. I tada bih svaki dan zarađivao nekoliko zlata! I to su učinili već četiri puta! Prijetili su mi otimanjem stranke govoreći kako ih nitko nije odbio. To je već treći pokušaj otkako sam osnovao stranku, ali mi ju još nisu oteli. Ali ja sam ih odbio.Zato vam savjetujem da provjerite kandidate prije nego izaberete predsjednika države.

Kongresni izbori. Kad mi je Petar Slavonski rekao kako sam se našao na listi Hrvatskih Liberalnih Demokrata, nisam mu vjerovao. Naime sve male stranke s te liste, njih dvadesetak, su trebale prijeći HLD da ih napune za kongresne izbore. I doista, javili su mi se, nudeći jedno kongresno mjesto u zamjenu da naši članovi prijeđu njima. I još da im reklamiramo stranku za dva zlata. Pa to je smiješno! Prvo, to je očito namještanje izbora. Drugo, iskorištavaju glasače i male stranke kako bi zaradili. Vi mislite kako oni zarade medalju i pet zlata, ali to nije ni desetina novca što ga ukradu

Govore da je moja stranka United Federation of Planets slaba i luzerska. Ja sam nju osnovao iz sentimentalnosti i ljubavi prema Zvjezdanim Stazama. Više njih volim nego pokvarenu eHrvatsku. I gdje piše da stranke moraju imati nazive kao u stvarnom svijetu? Prigovaraju mi i zbog engleskog naziva. To je zato što želim uključiti i strance koji imaju hrvatsko državljanstvo. Takvih pogotovo ima u Hrvatskoj Stranci Prava. I u našoj stranci nema službenih kandidata, svi su slobodni obnašati bilo koju dužnost, a ne moraju čekati dok prijeđu dvadeseti level kao u HSP-u i ostalim top 5 strankama. Glavno da poštuju stranku i ne rade gluposti. Zato vas opet pozivam da nam se pridružite.

English/engleski
This is disgrace! Serbian took over Bosnia and Herzegovina, but why are Croatians fighting between themselves for taking over Croatia?

Presidential elections. I was contacted by organization Croatia helper. They concluded I’m a great politician because I became party president again. They didn’t accept my refusal saying how they want precisely me. They wanted me to resign my party so they could test me and give me two gold. If I pass the test I would join their top 5 party and become party president. Then I would candidate myself for country president and they would set the elections so I could win. Then I would get paid in gold every single day! And they’ve already done it four times! They threatened with they’ll take over my party saying no one ever rejected them. That was the third attempt since I founded the party, but they all failed. I rejected them. I advise you to check candidates before you vote.

Congress elections. When Petar Slavonski told me I was on the list of Hrvatski Liberalni Demokrati, I did not believe him. All those parties from the list, about twenty of them, were supposed to cross to the HLD and fill them up. And really, they contacted me offering one congress seat, but our members must cross to the HLD. And we must create them an ad for two gold. That’s ridiculous! First, it is an obvious cheating on the elections. Second, they are using voters and small parties for making money. You all think medal and five gold is all their profit, but that’s not a tenth of the money they steal.

People say my party, United Federation of Planets, is weak. I founded it because of my feelings toward the Star Trek. I love that world more than this corrupted eCroatia. And where is it written that parties must have names like in the real world? They also protest because party’s name is in English. That’s because I want to include foreigners who have Croatian citizenship. And in our party there are no official candidates, everyone is free to candidate for every function they want. They don’t have to wait to become level 20 like in top 5 parties. They only have to respect the party and do no monkey business. Therefore I invite you again to join us.