Oblige: A Gang Story
Day 1,505, 21:04
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Marcus Oritas
Dear trippin' readers of the Groovy Gazette,
I don't like overconfident, cocky people. I thought Oblige was very cool, but after he made a visit to The Bastards of Liberty in our own FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, he irritated me, and so I decided to dramatize the incident.
And dramatize the incident I did.
And here it is, based on a true story, despite how most of its fake. Especially anything overly hate filled. The basic message is the same, but its mostly entertainment.
This will make much more sense if you read this first: http://thebastardsofliberty.forumotion.com/t109-oblige-for-potus#913
You don't really need to, but its a spoof on that (even though nothing in the link is comical at all). And its not very interesting, but it might not make sense otherwise. Sorry and thank you.
Picture a simpler place, the streets of some gang infested city. Where notorious gang leader Obliminous Prime (based on Oblige)has unified four of the five largest gangs west of the tracks. Looking to unify all gangs under one banna', he goes to the safehouse of the Rollin' Bastards, to further ensure his dominance on the streets.
After leaving my homies as they watched the final seconds of the Broncos' loss to the Buffalo Bills, I walked over to Mad Dawg, our Boss. He seemed troubled, as if he knew the tragedy that was to unfold.
"How'd our boy's do, Gibril?" He asked.
"Tebow's still my boy. Dats all that matters. But seriously, man.... sometimes."
"Das fo' damn sure." He said in agreement.
I offered him a smoke. And it was then that a white limousine arrived, and dropped off one of the realest niggas this side of the tracks. Obliminous Prime walked right on up, and opened our door on his own.
"Yo niggas! Cool, if I sit down?" he said,
"Uh.... well actually-"
"Well," he interrupted, "pull up a chayah!"
Yea so I called in all my crestfallen homies, and we amassed in the trippin' room
"Well niggas, I run this city! Imma come down here just to ask y'all fa support."
Immediately, Old Daddy went all like, DAMN on his ass. He went off on stuff like elitism, and douches, and crybabies, until Mad Dawg just was like aww, hell no.
"Awright hold on, we need to decide this y'all. Who we gonna support.",said Mad Dawg
We huddled and talked shit over.
"Ain't no way I supportin' that jive fool!", Mad Dawg exclaimed.
"Hold up man. I thought he's done a good job. He got rida dem Poles and Serbs from town.", I said.
"Oooh, wait! Look outside! Look at that guy!" said Mad Dawg,
"Whoa he's so .....interesting! Wait, I saw him in the paper! Quick, get him in here NOW!"
We walked up to him, and waited about a minute before he looked up at us with fire in his eyes.
"Name's Sir Gulden Draak. May I help you?"
"Uh....sorry...wow... hey do... do you wanna be our gang leader?" asked Jamma
"Is that from my editorial about myself as a gang leader? Meh... sure." he said.
"Awright! From now on you be known as, Tang Chasa!"
You know, like a person who chases zesty tang.
We walked back in, and Obliminous Prime was incensed.
"We done found this guy, so we'll have to decline yo offa' brother.", said Jamma
"Oh, the nerve." Obliminous scowled.
"No hard feelings though, Obliminous, you've done good on our city this month.", I said
"Hissssss!!!!!! It'll be a great two months!!!!! I am utterly unnapposed! You and Multiplous Prime are not serious candidates! I shalt attempt to break the record for percentage of gangstas on my side! So haha, Charade You Are!!!!!!, he exclaimed.
"Wait, I know you. You wrote that accursed editorial! You weren't seriously putting your name out to be a gangsta. You're a joke! Hisssss!!!!!"
His vanity and change of accent startled us, and caused discension in our ranks;
"Haha guys we done nominated a joke candidate!" laughed Javon
"Hey bro, f-k you!" said Deandre rudely
"You done think you're gonna solve world hunger with that theory!" he continued rambling.
At this point I was all jus like, dang
"What the hell?....Hey does anyone know this Deandre fella? I'd like to give him a piece mah buisness." said Javon
"Come at me bro!" Deandre yelled.
It was with his final breath, for Javon shot his face off with a glock.
After the shock settled, Gulden explained to us that he started as a joke, but rose inwardly to desire to help his city as a gangsta. Fahshanda tried to console him, but he was just too.... too interesting.
Now Obliminous, capitalizing on the shock of Deandre's death, slowly inched his way over to my Granny's priceless Jade vase, snatched it, ran out to his limousine, and in a frenzy to get home, drove so recklessy he caused 8 pedestrian deaths. It was a true snatch an' run.
He got home. Told his bitches to make him coffee, and retired to his study. His son Junior arrived to hug him goodnight.
"Night, pops!" as he hugged him cutely.
"Aw son.... sometimes I don't know what I'm doing nomore."
"Sorry pops." Junior said
"Awright hold up! You thank you hot just cause you young! We'll tell me what the meaning of life is Junya. You tell me!" he yelled
"I'm five years old, Dad."
"You sicken me. Get out of my office!"
2 minutes later...
Dear Diary,
I am so happy. So very happy. I can act like a dick and no one cares. I have too many nominations. So happy.
Ahhhhhh
Yours truly,
Me.
Ahhhhhh
The moral of the story is to vote for Gulden, because Oblige is cocky, and Pizza is Pizza the Hut. But Gulden is a shining bastion of coolness.
Offense was not intended by this article. My policy is, if for any reason you are not completely satisfied, then I hate you.
I don't like overconfident, cocky people. I thought Oblige was very cool, but after he made a visit to The Bastards of Liberty in our own FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, he irritated me, and so I decided to dramatize the incident.
And dramatize the incident I did.
And here it is, based on a true story, despite how most of its fake. Especially anything overly hate filled. The basic message is the same, but its mostly entertainment.
This will make much more sense if you read this first: http://thebastardsofliberty.forumotion.com/t109-oblige-for-potus#913
You don't really need to, but its a spoof on that (even though nothing in the link is comical at all). And its not very interesting, but it might not make sense otherwise. Sorry and thank you.
Picture a simpler place, the streets of some gang infested city. Where notorious gang leader Obliminous Prime (based on Oblige)has unified four of the five largest gangs west of the tracks. Looking to unify all gangs under one banna', he goes to the safehouse of the Rollin' Bastards, to further ensure his dominance on the streets.
After leaving my homies as they watched the final seconds of the Broncos' loss to the Buffalo Bills, I walked over to Mad Dawg, our Boss. He seemed troubled, as if he knew the tragedy that was to unfold.
"How'd our boy's do, Gibril?" He asked.
"Tebow's still my boy. Dats all that matters. But seriously, man.... sometimes."
"Das fo' damn sure." He said in agreement.
I offered him a smoke. And it was then that a white limousine arrived, and dropped off one of the realest niggas this side of the tracks. Obliminous Prime walked right on up, and opened our door on his own.
"Yo niggas! Cool, if I sit down?" he said,
"Uh.... well actually-"
"Well," he interrupted, "pull up a chayah!"
Yea so I called in all my crestfallen homies, and we amassed in the trippin' room
"Well niggas, I run this city! Imma come down here just to ask y'all fa support."
Immediately, Old Daddy went all like, DAMN on his ass. He went off on stuff like elitism, and douches, and crybabies, until Mad Dawg just was like aww, hell no.
"Awright hold on, we need to decide this y'all. Who we gonna support.",said Mad Dawg
We huddled and talked shit over.
"Ain't no way I supportin' that jive fool!", Mad Dawg exclaimed.
"Hold up man. I thought he's done a good job. He got rida dem Poles and Serbs from town.", I said.
"Oooh, wait! Look outside! Look at that guy!" said Mad Dawg,
"Whoa he's so .....interesting! Wait, I saw him in the paper! Quick, get him in here NOW!"
We walked up to him, and waited about a minute before he looked up at us with fire in his eyes.
"Name's Sir Gulden Draak. May I help you?"
"Uh....sorry...wow... hey do... do you wanna be our gang leader?" asked Jamma
"Is that from my editorial about myself as a gang leader? Meh... sure." he said.
"Awright! From now on you be known as, Tang Chasa!"
You know, like a person who chases zesty tang.
We walked back in, and Obliminous Prime was incensed.
"We done found this guy, so we'll have to decline yo offa' brother.", said Jamma
"Oh, the nerve." Obliminous scowled.
"No hard feelings though, Obliminous, you've done good on our city this month.", I said
"Hissssss!!!!!! It'll be a great two months!!!!! I am utterly unnapposed! You and Multiplous Prime are not serious candidates! I shalt attempt to break the record for percentage of gangstas on my side! So haha, Charade You Are!!!!!!, he exclaimed.
"Wait, I know you. You wrote that accursed editorial! You weren't seriously putting your name out to be a gangsta. You're a joke! Hisssss!!!!!"
His vanity and change of accent startled us, and caused discension in our ranks;
"Haha guys we done nominated a joke candidate!" laughed Javon
"Hey bro, f-k you!" said Deandre rudely
"You done think you're gonna solve world hunger with that theory!" he continued rambling.
At this point I was all jus like, dang
"What the hell?....Hey does anyone know this Deandre fella? I'd like to give him a piece mah buisness." said Javon
"Come at me bro!" Deandre yelled.
It was with his final breath, for Javon shot his face off with a glock.
After the shock settled, Gulden explained to us that he started as a joke, but rose inwardly to desire to help his city as a gangsta. Fahshanda tried to console him, but he was just too.... too interesting.
Now Obliminous, capitalizing on the shock of Deandre's death, slowly inched his way over to my Granny's priceless Jade vase, snatched it, ran out to his limousine, and in a frenzy to get home, drove so recklessy he caused 8 pedestrian deaths. It was a true snatch an' run.
He got home. Told his bitches to make him coffee, and retired to his study. His son Junior arrived to hug him goodnight.
"Night, pops!" as he hugged him cutely.
"Aw son.... sometimes I don't know what I'm doing nomore."
"Sorry pops." Junior said
"Awright hold up! You thank you hot just cause you young! We'll tell me what the meaning of life is Junya. You tell me!" he yelled
"I'm five years old, Dad."
"You sicken me. Get out of my office!"
2 minutes later...
Dear Diary,
I am so happy. So very happy. I can act like a dick and no one cares. I have too many nominations. So happy.
Ahhhhhh
Yours truly,
Me.
Ahhhhhh
The moral of the story is to vote for Gulden, because Oblige is cocky, and Pizza is Pizza the Hut. But Gulden is a shining bastion of coolness.
Offense was not intended by this article. My policy is, if for any reason you are not completely satisfied, then I hate you.
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Comments
Um....Gulden FTW?
holy crap this is great.
for the record, when I put the word "niggas" in my newspaper half the eWorld attacked me. But then again, I am on Pfeiffer's attack list at the moment, so w/e.
and also for the record, nobody, and I mean NOBODY else of any note even attempted to compete for the Federalist endorsement. That door was wider open than it looked...
Rofl awesome story, but why did DeAndre have to die, it could have been like a slumdog millionaire story with him :'( so sad. He was the best sidecharacter. lol
Just.... this XD
umm, what.
I am not sure who i am in that story.
zesty tang ....
rofl
"Oh, the nerve." Obliminous scowled.
50 Q6 Tanks and 100 Q6 Food awarded for quality Oblige fan fic.
Wow. thank you!
LOL - fiction is more fun!
Where was Pizza in that story?
Pizza wasn't there but I mentioned him as Multiplous Prime.