Join the new world

Having prayed real bloody hard, I have finally received a message from the eCreator in a vision. It foretold of a wonderful man, who will be self-nominated for the newest position of all eOverall eGod of eAll (or whatever sounds > u ). He will bring joy and happiness to the eWorld. He is also very handsome, the most even. All those who choose to follow will be filled with His enlightenment and blessed with fertility and almost maxed wellness.

The mighty eCreator said the new eGods followers will all happily donate money to pay for a really nice pad for His Greatness, and regular food, and a few gifts would be welcome too. A small price to pay for His enlightenment, blessed fertility and almost-maxed wellness. He will use Jim Timber, a strange looking, but wise eCitizen with weak jokes, but the girth that would scare a whale, to be his shepherd. He will kindly allow eCitizens to donate to him 1 of your UK pounds monthly (if different currencies, allow for exchange rate please) and q3+ food. Sending messages of praise and thanks to the eLord, addressed c/o Jim Timber will also ensure your path to the pearly gates is uncluttered. Virgins welcome also...(female)

Those who chose to turn their back on the eLight, well...more fool you and when it happens, you will be sorry. So, better to be safe than sorry.

Amen.

Valid from Day 590 in the new world.