News and Photos of life in World War V
Day 1,532, 18:14
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Marcus Oritas
Dear esteemed readers of the Groovy Gazette,
The horrors of eWar cannot be understated. Its consequences, are such that no single Amish grandmother can ignore it for very long. It is so, that in some distant lands, the people live in constant fear of losing a full bonus, or even ... having no bonus at all.
People who happen to live near the frontlines can wake up one day, head downstairs for breakfast, and find their balls in a juicemaker.
This is their story:
Russian settlers in Scania flee farther north, as Polish and Swedish forces attempt to destroy their peaceful way of life, in the land they had spent many moons of raping and pillaging.
Sunset in FYROM.
The frolicking woodland critters are all gone, due to months of nuclear attacks. So, I don't want to suggest anything, but, a striking resemblance to Mordor could be observed.
But then again, ONE does not simply walk into Mordor. Because, you see, ONE is Mordor, and so ONE cannot simply walk into itself.
All I'd like to suggest, is that the Greeks start to troll FYROM by replacing the "M" with, "Mordor". No disrespect to Mordor, because I know a kid from FYROM in RL, and also because
Major economic changes greatly effected the world today, as toolboxes faded from use. Players now 'manage' their companies instead of working in them. Many players do not have employees in their companies, and so Croatia has released thousands of magical elves to work in the factories, which they gained from their occuppied lands (which they conquered to launch expansive searches for little magical elves). Reports are emerging that due to the good relationship between Plato and Romper/Argrob, Croatia was tipped off to the benefits of capturing elves to serve as slaves, in exchange for ten thousand years of service.
So that's the end of that goldfish.
They were only in this for the elves.
Iran continues to struggle to adapt to modern warfare, and remains under full occuppation by Turkey. Despite the latest brilliant millitary innovations, such as the wheelbarrow (makes supply 10x easier), Iranian resistance forces are yet to win a single battle. Its simply dreadful, dreadful indeed. What if I could tell you that all you need to save the life of a poor, dying Iranian soldier, is to reach into your pocket, and pull out a quarter (of gold), and hand it to the friendly folks of the Marcus Oritas Inner City Swindlers Foundation?
What if you could save a life?
What if you cared about other, less fortunate people?
What if, you actually gave me free gold?
What if you could save a life?
What if?
The Bastards of Liberty Party, and their most noble virtues, have destroyed the entire universe becuase of the majesty and awe they are known to inspire from hither to yonder.
Whoops!
The Groovy Gazette supports:
Custer's Stand
Mic Check
The Pony Express
Point Taken
White House Press Room
My dearest contemporaries in Warfare Analysis,
Blowin' in the Wind
The Big Book of Everything
V.O.T. News
The Bastards of Liberty party loves you insatiably. Now don't you break my heart, and leave without even the slightest glance.
Offense was not intended by this article. My policy is, if for any reason you are not completely satisfied, then I hate you.
Votes are snazzy. They will live on as a testament to your snazziness, long after you abandon this game, and all material goods to help the poor or something. So please Vote, Sub, and Shout!
The horrors of eWar cannot be understated. Its consequences, are such that no single Amish grandmother can ignore it for very long. It is so, that in some distant lands, the people live in constant fear of losing a full bonus, or even ... having no bonus at all.
People who happen to live near the frontlines can wake up one day, head downstairs for breakfast, and find their balls in a juicemaker.
This is their story:
Russian settlers in Scania flee farther north, as Polish and Swedish forces attempt to destroy their peaceful way of life, in the land they had spent many moons of raping and pillaging.
Sunset in FYROM.
The frolicking woodland critters are all gone, due to months of nuclear attacks. So, I don't want to suggest anything, but, a striking resemblance to Mordor could be observed.
But then again, ONE does not simply walk into Mordor. Because, you see, ONE is Mordor, and so ONE cannot simply walk into itself.
All I'd like to suggest, is that the Greeks start to troll FYROM by replacing the "M" with, "Mordor". No disrespect to Mordor, because I know a kid from FYROM in RL, and also because
Major economic changes greatly effected the world today, as toolboxes faded from use. Players now 'manage' their companies instead of working in them. Many players do not have employees in their companies, and so Croatia has released thousands of magical elves to work in the factories, which they gained from their occuppied lands (which they conquered to launch expansive searches for little magical elves). Reports are emerging that due to the good relationship between Plato and Romper/Argrob, Croatia was tipped off to the benefits of capturing elves to serve as slaves, in exchange for ten thousand years of service.
So that's the end of that goldfish.
They were only in this for the elves.
Iran continues to struggle to adapt to modern warfare, and remains under full occuppation by Turkey. Despite the latest brilliant millitary innovations, such as the wheelbarrow (makes supply 10x easier), Iranian resistance forces are yet to win a single battle. Its simply dreadful, dreadful indeed. What if I could tell you that all you need to save the life of a poor, dying Iranian soldier, is to reach into your pocket, and pull out a quarter (of gold), and hand it to the friendly folks of the Marcus Oritas Inner City Swindlers Foundation?
What if you could save a life?
What if you cared about other, less fortunate people?
What if, you actually gave me free gold?
What if you could save a life?
What if?
The Bastards of Liberty Party, and their most noble virtues, have destroyed the entire universe becuase of the majesty and awe they are known to inspire from hither to yonder.
Whoops!
The Groovy Gazette supports:
Custer's Stand
Mic Check
The Pony Express
Point Taken
White House Press Room
My dearest contemporaries in Warfare Analysis,
Blowin' in the Wind
The Big Book of Everything
V.O.T. News
The Bastards of Liberty party loves you insatiably. Now don't you break my heart, and leave without even the slightest glance.
Offense was not intended by this article. My policy is, if for any reason you are not completely satisfied, then I hate you.
Votes are snazzy. They will live on as a testament to your snazziness, long after you abandon this game, and all material goods to help the poor or something. So please Vote, Sub, and Shout!
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Comments
lol cool v+s
At least they made those North Pole, toy-making elves...not the creepy Keebler elves, baking cookies in a tree. Who runs an oven inside a tree? How totally high do you have to be to....oh wait, got it now.
Lol'd at FYROM.
It's all quite clear to me now. Thanks.
Nothing like telling it like it is.
This is awe-inspiring shit man!
Love the picture of Croatians with Yugoslav flags on their boats ! : D
Voted from the Netherlands!!
lol awesome voted!