National Newspaper Association ~ Awards

Day 1,475, 12:33 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by eUK Home Office


Firstly, you will have noticed London is under attack.

Fight the Irish, fight them smart, fight them hard.

The Monthly National Newspaper Awards.

Hello and welcome to this months NNA Award ceremony; where we take some of our most prominent writers and place them on a pedestal for your visual entertainment.

The winner of each prize shall receive 100GBP and a special medal to parade in their paper if they so wish.

First, let’s take a brief look back at our past award winners to see what they’ve been up to.



Our last awards were presented on day 1,140 by our former editor in chief, God rest his soul, Horice. A lot has happened since those halcyon days when this illustrious publication could knock on the door of at least 40 votes. So where are our past award winners?

The Gold Winners of Day 1,140

HRH Woldy has managed to remain alive and well since receiving his award. These days he can be found polishing his sceptre and deciding on NNA award winners.

Kevy Kevy Kevin Kelvin Pandapants Jnr Snr thanked the NNA for his award and insisted that without said award he’d never have become our countries Prime Minister. Sadly for Kevy the award was unable to provide a fast and reliable Internet connection. Today Kevy spends his time reading and eating bamboo.

The Silver Award Winners of Day 1,140

Thomas765 lead a quite elife until his award thrust him into the public eye. From humble beginnings the spot light of fame was turned upon this quite country lad. Soon government office came calling and our Thomas was hot footing it around the country as our Minister of Forig Affairs and now wee Thomas is having a crack at becoming Prime Minister.

Those that have passe😛

Sadly not all of the winners from this edition made it through to today. Let us take a minute to remember Hard Logic and Connor West, both as dead as the proverbial dodo. Gone but not forgotten and other cliched sayings.

Next month we’ll take a look at the award winners from day 983.

This months awards are as follows;

- Lifetime achievement award
- November ‘11 Best paper award
- November ‘11 Best article award
- November ‘11 Regular publisher award
- November ‘11 The ‘what did he just say’ award

Needless to say, we received a bounty of nominations, and those considered in tandem with our own departmental research, created a shortlist for each category of a number of publishers deemed worthy of receiving a cash prize.


The Nominees for the ‘what did he just say’ award were:
- Donotlookback, for ’Disordered Thoughts’
- Bob Boblo, for ’The Freudian Slip’
- Cesare Borja, for Something foreign



The Nominees for the Regular publisher award were:
- UK’s Finest, for The UKF
- Veruvia, for ’Dramatis Persona’
- Liam Charlesworth, for 'Charlesworth’s Mail’




The Nominees for the Best article award were:
- Veruvia, for ’A guide to Government ministries’
- Mr Woldy, for ’eRepublik is like Sex’
- Sir Humphrey Appleby, for ’The End of History’



The Nominees for the Best paper award were:
- UK’s Finest, for ’The UKF’
- Sir Humphrey Appleby, for ’The Civil Service’
- Veruvia, for ’Dramatis Persona’


The Nominees for the Lifetime achievement award were:
- Iain Keers, for ’The Economist’
- Horice G. Fossil, for ‘Historic Times’
- Mr Woldy, for ’The People’s Gazette’



And the winners as chosen by the MoHA staff are~
- WDHJS Awar😛 Bob Boblo, for ’The Freudian Slip’
- RP Awar😛 UK’s Finest, for The UKF
- BA Awar😛 Sir Humphrey Appleby, for ’The End of History’
- BP Awar😛 Sir Humphrey Appleby, for ’The Civil Service’
- LA Awar😛 Horice G. Fossil, for ‘Historic Times’


And that concludes the awards ceremony. We at the MoHA would like to congratulate all the winners, and hope that by this time next month a wider variation of both awards and nominees will be seen.

Until then, keep writing!

King Woldy & Karacticus
Dead Poets