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Welcome to the Red Rag Read, pronounced however you please. RRR aims to put a one-sided, like it or lump it/"lalala*: i'm not listening" view on the week that was. Sounds like CNN? Not really, as RRR could never manage to gain advertisement revenue. Sounds like the BBC? Not really, all our female reporters are mingers** and South Asian. You can be confident the views offered in the RRR are fully researched in conjunction with the University of Life and probably bare very little substance and any truth to the articles are pure luck. A broken clock is right twice a day.

2 stories this week caught the eye of RRR this week. Firstly, eUK and eIreland having a rumble in the jungle in the name of increasing wellness and such things. Well, rumble being flaying handbags and jungle probably being some field full of cow pats and getting-pregnant teens.

Some may have asked is war the way to betternessness. Others may have asked is there any other way. The answer to all questions is simple....depends if your dead or not. That may seem confusing to some, but in RRRs eyes, whatever. RRR polled 100 dead people, and all declined to answer. Undeterred, we dug a little deeper. Muhahaha... Turns out dead people believe there was another way. But let's not let violence and grave-digging deter us from the real point that has come from this. What kind of a country would call a place something so gay as Shannon?!? Either way, war is raw, eIreland may be a lil' homosexual.

Story 2. Jacko's dead. Sad stuff, good singer. Hopefully my TV service will resume normal programmes soon though. Maybe insensitive, but, in a world that hires a helicopter to film the coroner carrying the carcuss-in-a-bag from the ambulance to a deep-freezer and has the audacity to cancel my favorite TV in preference to a (maybe/maybe not) paedo who hangs out with monkeys, looks like a weathered sphinx, talks like a eunuch & is whiter than my Caucasian arse can go swivel in RRRs opinion. Exhale...

Another twist to the story which has yet to be covered in the popular media is the fact that Jacko was not moon-walking, but indeed moon-lighting as a (pretty lame) actor/puppet. Proof I hear those of you who may still be reading scream. RRR has all the proof it needs, in fact we have 4 films, i future film and a cartoon book worth of proof. De de deeeee...Michael Jackson was indeed the much hated psycho who war makeup and terrorized many...Jiigsaw.

Art imitating life? Or just a paedo pretending to be a psycho? The answer to that, is for you to find. (its the latter).

Until next week.