Dinner and Discussion with... Corey Blake.
Dartreal
Hello and welcome to the first edition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. I am your host, Dartreal, and I welcome you to my home.
There are many newspapers in eAustralia and in the eWorld that interview important people of this eEarth but none of them takes the time to get to the real issues. Sure, they might answer some questions on issues that have an important impact on our eLives but those getting interviewed aren’t given the treatment they deserve.
It is my intention to invite many eAustralians as well as citizens from around the eWorld for a little chat over some dinner. I want to make these people not only feel comfortable while being questioned, but I believe that they should be given something in return for taking time out in their busy schedules to be with me. Nothing says “thanks for giving the public your personal views” like a nice, warm dinner.
Tonight, I’m proud to present my interview with Corey Blake – the Casanova of eAustralia. Originally from eAmerica, the Political Stud Muffin moved to eAustralia and became a senator. He has held his senate seat three times all while woo-ing many eLadies, all smitten once they pick up his scent. Corey Blake also is the only known person who has made women from eSouth Australia blush. Lock up your women men, because Corey Blake is coming to town!
Tonight’s guest: Corey Blake. (Click Here For Profile).
Tonight’s meal: Tender veal sautéed in butter, lemon, wine, and fresh mushrooms, tossed with Romano grated cheese.
Tonight’s tune: Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.
Dartreal: Corey Blake, thanks for joining me for dinner and a discussion.
Corey Blake: Pleasure.
Dartreal: How was your meal? Wasn’t it better than say, something disgusting like Spam and Easy Mac? The same meal that you previously wanted before I intervened?
Corey Blake: Nothing spells Stallion like Spam and Easy Mac, but it hit the spot.
Dartreal: Touché. So let's get down with some questions and I'm sure the question everyone wants to know: Why the move from eAmerica to eAustralia?
Corey Blake: I guess I got bored with sober, prude women, and Australia is known for its drunk citizens, so Aussieland was a better fit for me.
Dartreal: And we all know how drunk chicks find it hard to say no, especially when they're passed out! Hahaha!
Corey Blake: You know you did a good job if she doesn't wake up.
Dartreal: How right you are, but before we go on we must remind readers we don't support someone taking advantage of a vulnerable woman. Wouldn't you agree?
Corey Blake: Unless you are drunk yourself
Dartreal: Let's move on before we have ourselves an angry mob of women at our doors. It is no surprise that you are indeed a ladies man and your tales of “woo-ing” women are legendary. Question: what's your secret?
Corey Blake: I was fortunate enough to have the Holy Fluffer, Jack Flufferton, take me under his wing and teach me the ropes.
Dartreal: Interesting. And this "Jack Flufferton" would be who?
Corey Blake: You don't know of Jack Flufferton?
Dartreal: I can't say I do, so I guess you could say I don't know Jack. See what I did there?
Corey Blake: You sly devil you. As for who Jack Flufferton is, he is an eRep player, Media Mogul of The Fluffertonian Times, Fluffertonism eGod, and all around badass. Oh, and former eHusband of Ajay Bruno. No homo though… sorta…
Dartreal: Yes and we all know of the infamous Ajay Bruno. Let's steer the topic away from that pest. Important question and this should be a tough one for you. Etheodoria Vulpine, Dycey Farley, and Ines Schumacher - Marry, Dump and Sleep with. Go.
Corey Blake: Damn. Ines - Sleep, Dycey - Marry, EV - Dump. Ines is a babe, Cozza isn't man enough for Dycey, and EV is too epic for me.
Dartreal: Well handled though I don't think our ePrime Minister is going to agree with you on the Dycey issue. Would you like to say anything before the secret police of eAustralia come knocking at your door?
Corey Blake: I was the second shooter on the grassy knoll
Dartreal: And I'm sure only 12 people are going to get that joke. More wine? I've got a nice dry red from eFrance, aged for 20 years.
Corey Blake: Do I look eGay to you?!? Hell yeah I do! Not eGay, more wine I mean.
Dartreal: Wonderful. And speaking of eFrance, there has been a lot of discussion about their current war with eSpain. Everyone knows the story: eFrance wiped eSpain off the map many months ago and now eSpain are looking revenge. Many people are split on the issue and it has divided many eAustralians. Question: After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
Corey Blake: Depends on if they "eat out" *wink wink*
Dartreal: An interesting answer. Speaking of interesting, there has been some more recent discussion about introducing eNew Zealand to the eWorld. Many people are looking forward to the country’s inclusion. Question: Where is the Old Zealand?
Corey Blake: Don't ask me, I'm still trying to find Waldo.
Dartreal: And too all my eAustralian readers, Waldo is known as Wally, as in Where's Wally. Question: Why is he called "Wally" here whereas he is known as "Waldo" in eAmerica?
Corey Blake: It was rumored that Wally was actually an undercover Japanese spy after the Pearl Harbor attacks, so Wally was put in a camp, and was replaced by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Dartreal: You're a man of great wisdom Corey. Perhaps you could answer this question: Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Corey Blake: Have you ever tried to buy a pre-contaminated needle from a junkie? Not fun.
Dartreal: Yes the last thing I would want to think of before I was up for a lethal injection is if I was pricked by a HIV needle. Dessert? My chef makes a lovely crème brûlée.
Corey Blake: Oh, why not, I can go to the gym and bench my usual 300 lbs tomorrow to burn it off.
Dartreal: Impressive! A man who has brains and brawn! You seem to be the perfect man good sir which would make a lot of eMen jealous. How would you deal with a furious guy who is threatening you because you slept with his eWife?
Corey Blake: Well, I would finish my business and then Roundhouse Kick him.
Dartreal: A man of action! Many people like that! Ah lovely our dessert has arrived. Speaking of dessert, many people believe eAmerica got theirs after their attempted invasion of eJapan. What are your thoughts on this considering you were from eAmerica?
Corey Blake: Well, I'm no mathematician, but I do believe the eUS won in damage points. But at the same time, the eUS prolly would have manhandled Japan with my help.
Dartreal: Do you think eAmerica deserve the amount of flack they've been given over the loss?
Corey Blake: Flack, shmack. When in Rome…
Dartreal: Where you not there for the invasion of eAmerica when eRussia, eIndonesia and ePortugal attacked?
Corey Blake: Umm, I was there in the beginning when eUS was down to, I believe, 4 regions.
Dartreal: Do you think eJapan got what it deserved from eUSA for allowing eIndonesia into eAmerica to begin with?
Corey Blake: Well, I don't know the entire politics of the situation that happened in the Great War, so it’s hard to say who deserves what.
Dartreal: Sometimes things can't be explained for whatever reason, which brings me to my issue I have with oranges. Why is it the orange is called an orange, but a lime is not called a "green" or a lemon is not called a "yellow'? Surely you, Corey Blake - Casanova of eAustralia, could answer this question?
Corey Blake: Well, if someone throws up in a fake Vomit factory how does anyone know? It’s one of those situations.
Dartreal: You would taste it as anyone would... or is that just me?
Corey Blake: Some African cultures actually feast on vomit, so don't fret my friend, you are not alone.
Dartreal: Thank goodness I was getting very worried for a second. Well our dinner has come to an end and our discussion draws to a close, so let us do a little "Word Association". I'll say a word and you say the first thing that pops into your head. Are you ready?
Corey Blake: To suck it.
Dartreal: To suck it?
Corey Blake: Oh yes I am ready hahaha.
Dartreal: Carrot.
Corey Blake: Bunny.
Dartreal: Haggis.
Corey Blake: Moped.
Dartreal: Oprah Winfrey making out with Rosie O'Donnell.
Corey Blake: More Beer
Dartreal: Coffee?
Corey Blake: Huh?
Dartreal: Would you like some coffee? I forgot to ask before.
Corey Blake: Oh sure, pure eColombian?
Dartreal: eArabica Beans. Is that a problem?
Corey Blake: I will need some cream and sugar then.
Dartreal: No problem. Back to the game. Coffee.
Corey Blake: Cocaine.
Dartreal: Corey Blake.
Corey Blake: Stallion.
Dartreal: And finally, Dartreal.
Corey Blake: Andy Rooney.
Dartreal: I'll take that as a complement. Thank you very much Corey Blake for joining me, Dartreal, for dinner and a discussion.
Corey Blake: Always a pleasure.
There you have it eAustralia, my first dinner and discussion with a true eAustralian, from eAmerican. Join me next time for another edition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. Until then I’m Dartreal - dine fine eAustralia.
Comments
WE LOVE COREY!
Nicely done, gents! Great read!
lovely work
I love your style. Voted & Subbed.
epic
vote and sub'd
“Tonight’s guest: Corey Blake.
Tonight’s meal: Tender veal sautéed in butter, lemon, wine, and fresh mushrooms, tossed with Romano grated cheese.
Tonight’s tune: Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.”
Sounds very romantic, especially after you described Corey as “the Casanova of eAustralia. Originally from eAmerica, the Political Stud Muffin”. Guess we know where your intentions lie, shame he only seems to be here for the chicks.
“Corey Blake: I guess I got bored with sober, prude women, and Australia is known for its drunk citizens, so Aussieland was a better fit for me.
Dartreal: And we all know how drunk chicks find it hard to say no, especially when they're passed out! Hahaha!
Corey Blake: You know you did a good job if she doesn't wake up”
I stopped reading at this point. Both your characters are clearly defined by this refreshingly blunt banter. No need to read further. I applaud your willingness to both slap aussie women in the face while degrading yourself publicly to do so.
Kudos.
~ Agent Kaos
AHAHAHHAAHAH ROFL ROFL ROFL!!!!
Ditto Ministry of Misinformation.
I'm not sure of the tone behind the quoted comments but its exceptionally poor form regardless.
I never thought I'd agree with MoMI... Those comments are in VERY poor taste and extremely insulting to women, especially Australian ones. You make us all sound like harlots. 🙁
It's a joke. A poor joke maybe but it's still a joke. Characters in game shouldn't be confused for the person in real life. At the end of the day this article is for "lulz purposes" so have some fun, chill out, relax on being serious and stop over-reading everything that's written. I'm sorry if it offended some people and that's all I'm going to say on the subject.
So the characters are immature college frat boys who have no issue with date rape or vilifying every single female in eAus? That's simple enough to understand Datreal. Isn't it wonderful the things we bring to the game..
Probably the same people that write letters to tv stations about how offended they are, its a joke article, obviously not serious in any way.
People need to harden up alittle.
So wait.. is nobody gonna complain about the Intro picture then? Why is that not equally as offensive than what Corey Blake said? Very hypocritical if you ask me.
It is Black humour, pure and simple. Some like it (as seen at the start of the comments) and some take offense.
@ Tecchi: No because it's a joke. That's my eGirlfriend and she punched me in the arm so I'm returning the favour. See everyone laughing about it?
The whole thing's been cleared up now after a talk in irc chat. Resume your eLives people 🙂
Nice job Dartreal.
@Corey Is that you in RL? If not who is it?
I thought it was in pretty poor taste, and really not that funny.
also im pretty sure in that pic up top, the guys trying to hit the girl or is in the process of doing so. what possessed you to choose that as your headliner photo? 😕
idiot
I actually didn't look closely at the intro pic.
There wasn't spam or easy mac on the menu, but there is enough cheese throughout.