An Insight into the Life of Romper

Day 1,306, 07:20 • Published in United Kingdom Norway • by Major Lee Hung
Name: Romper
Age: 42
Location: Croatia
Gender: Male


A little about me

Hi, I am Romper. I am the greatest fighter that ever lived, I am a 'god of war'. I am 42 and I am married, we don't yet have children because my wife refuses to sleep with me. I am a retired WoW player, and found that my new talent was Erepublik.

My History

In my youth, I would often spend hours playing Chess and watching Star Trek. This is obviously where my great strategic talents came from. I used to work as the head chef at McDonalds, but recently resigned to focus on my amazing Erepublik career. I am able to do this as my wife works three jobs and I take a new credit card out in her name every week. When she gets a fourth job, I plan to use the extra income to pay back the 332 credit cards I have accumulated becoming an Erepublik celebrity. It was well worth the investment, although I don't think my wife would think so, I therefore have to avoid telling her.

My Career

My current career is a high-ranking member of Croatia's military. Obviously not the real military as their technology isn't high-tech enough, I mean their military on Erepublik. My losses building up this career stand at 1,250 Euros a day, but my wife's income from her three (soon to be four) jobs allows for this. When I become an Erepublik celebrity, I will likely begin to turn a profit. I will 'make it so'.

Family Life

My family is made up of just me and my wife. My wife refuses to sleep with me and so we won't likely be having children any time soon. I also class my 12 main-frame computer systems I have around my house as family. I often need to buy new hard drives every day, as there's so much porn on the internet, they make it faster than I can download it. I'm not sure how I can keep up. One time there was a power outage for five hours. This meant that my hard drives were unusable, and I couldn't access my porn. As a result, my testicles grew to the size of small water melons before eventually erupting. My wife had to rush me to hospital.

Hobbies

My hobbies involve watching Star Wars, playing Erepublik and dressing up as chracters from Star Trek. As soon as my wife leaves for work, I get in to my favourite Star Trek costume and begin my daily tanking. During times of peace when I'm not needed on Erepublik, I like to build model space rockets and fill them with gunpowder. I then launch them from my garden and talk into a walky-talky pretending to be a space commander. My neighbour's children often sit laughing at me but the jokes on them when they find out how powerful I really am.

Love

I recently met a hot girl on Erepublik. She emailed me a picture of herself and looks almost exactly like Britney Spears, I believe this woman may be the replacement for my wife. She often asks for Gold but that's okay, my wife pays for it all. One day we might be meeting, but the nervousness caused by this means that I now suffer from n anxiety disorder.

Thanks for reading my biography. I dropped a couple of subtle jokes in there. For example, where it says 'make it so', this is the same as what Captain Picard said in Star Trek. The jokes are probably too clever for you though. If you don't get it, then 'yo mamma to you nigga', is the correct phrase in these modern times I believe.

If you would wish to get in contact with me, please feel free. I will happily enlighten you by answering any questions you may have.