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Dateline: Sunday, September 18, 2016 (Day 3,225)
Location: James S. Brady Press Room, The White House
WHPR Super Sunday Edition







WAR UPDATE & Congress biz

“With the UK and Indo campaigns wrapped up, we're currently in a bit of lull while we wait to see if a Mexican invasion happens,” says President Orikfricai. “In the meantime, I've asked Congress to authorize some more free entertainment near our current Australasian territories.”

There has been a bit of resistance from Congress to rubber stamp those free good times. I caught up with the Speaker of the House, Gnilraps, to see what Congress has been up to. Here’s what he sai😛

The halls of congress have been completely evacuated for about a week, apparently due to a gas leak that is being attributed to either faulty plumbing or Tenshibo's diet.

Earlier today several congresspeople were seen sneaking underneath the yellow and black police tape. It would appear that the executive tried to take advantage of the empty chamber by introducing a proposal for war.

Concerned that the PoTUS's overture was specious, congresspeople have been spotted hightailing it back into the chamber despite the residual dank odor.

"Smells like skunk weed", commented Ya Boi D Money, who appears to know a lot about such things.

"Unless I can see through Evry's skirt, I'm not voting for this" exclaimed WTP congressman Serendipitous, begging for transparency.

"F**K you all, you S**t Bas**rd F**k A**holes", was Secretary of Foreign Affairs Wild Owl's response. It was later discovered that he had accidentally sat on a plunger left in the men's room by fingerguns. So far nobody has speculated on what fingerguns was doing in the men's room with a plunger.

The debate rages on as congresspeople continue to return to their seats, mostly half hung over. At last glance, Tenshibo was seen rolling a gigantic spliff and passing it to Deputy SoH Cerb saying, "Hey man, if I ever need a few extra votes, who should I talk to?" Those close to the conversation say they think they heard say something about "wooly" or "hooky".







New VP Dinnyin celebrates in style

Dinnyin is currently vacationing in NYC, eating fabulously extravagant brunches and sipping mimosas in celebration of his newly appointed position as Vice President of the eUS. President Orikfricai had this to say about the recent VP intrigue, “Dinnyin will be joining the cabinet as my new Vice President. The Vice President will be overseeing issues in all the departments. Most importantly, he will be President if I die.”

We have yet to see what kind of Vice President Dinnyin will be, but the White House is excited about the appointment.

Meanwhile, NAZ continues to be the Acting Vice President by releasing an article that felt very Vice Presidential. How will Dinnyin out-Vice President this pretender? We can’t wait to find out.







Recent shenanigans in the SFP PP race
fingerguns, Secretary of Media

We saw something incredible this week that is worth mentioning. The Party President election in the Socialist Freedom Party was corrupted by multi votes in the last hour before reset. Some members of the SFP are very vocal about their anti-multi position, so the revelation that someone within their own party is known to employ these tactics for personal gain was amazing to watch. They didn’t believe this when people told them in the past, but now it’s a bit hard to deny, yeah?

What was even more amazing to watch, however, was how expertly both Tom Cauchon and Cerb handled a very sticky situation. Somehow they came out the other side of a scandal looking like a strong party with a lot of integrity. This is how men handle their business. Now if they can keep the children at bay...

As a fellow party leader (and really just a citizen of this country), I want to congratulate the SFP on their ability to rise above the actions of a rogue member and I look forward to seeing what they do now. This could be a turning point for them that will ultimately lead to a stronger Top 5- and that’s good for all of us.






All you need to know about fighting in the sky
Kody5., Media Director of Citizen Affairs

Kody5 has put together some great articles for the Department of Citizen Affairs all about fighting and winning air battles. If you are a new or returning player, brush up on this air battle situation and learn how to fight to win. This is a new module of the game that has yet to be expanded and fully developed, so if you’re not a heavy-hitter on the ground already, consider going airborne.

What are air battles?
Medals for the air






Poland
Wild Owl, Secretary of State

The United States of America and Poland have shared a mixed history, including several periods in which we've been allies and others in which we've been enemies. It's not a coincidence that some of USA's best periods have occurred in the times when we've been allied to Poland, and we are proud to have this country by our side in Pacifica. Poland has been a steady and steadfast supporter of USA in Pacifica endeavours and we have supported them completely for the past year or so. The two of us have a joint approach to Foreign Affairs which involves a pro-Asterian and Syndicate stance with strong opposition to the Bulgarian sphere. Poland had to give up on their former friend, Spain for this, but they have done this willingly and thankfully for us, and we are very thankful for it. We hope that our relations with Poland continue to prosper for the foreseeable future.

Hail USA!
Hail Poland!






Be sure to check out eNPR on Wednesday, starting somewhere around 1800 or 1900 eRep time, with your hosts Cerb and Israel Stevens
https://beam.pro/enpr