[CP] HASTY UPDATE AND ART COMPETITION WINNERS
10 Downing Street
Ahoy m'arties!
Shiver me timbers and stick a bottle of rum up a parrot's arse for tis I, CptChazbeard, here to bring ye news of the goings on aboard the sinking ship eUK this past week.
The training wars are ticking along nicely though some citizens still aren't quite certain what battles to win and when; so I've come up with this song to help us all remember.
And a one and a two and a one, two, three, four...
Against Serbia and Bulgaria we lose the direct battles,
A-do-wop-a-do-wop
Against Serbia and Bulgaria we win the resistance wars,
A-do-wop-a-do-wop
[Guitar solo]
Against Ireland we lose the Louth battles,
A-do-wop-a-do-wop
Against Ireland we win the Northern Ireland battles,
A-do-wop-a-do-wop
[Guitar solo]
Against the Netherlands we lose the East Midlands battles,
A-do-wop-a-do-wop
Against the Netherlands we win the North West of England battles.
A-do-wop-a-do-wop
UNLESS...{left leg kick}...THE...{right leg kick}...GOVERNMENT...{left leg kick}...TELLS...{right leg kick}...YOU...{left leg kick}...OTHEEEERWIIIIIIISEEEE a skibbidy da bibidy do wooo de booo baaaaaaaa. Yeaaah
Bar the usual cooking the books to hide my financial irregularities Huey has been hard at work renegotiating the resource concession deal with Spain. In summary; at Spain's request we have reverted back to the original 85:15 split (whereby we retain 15% of the concession) as opposed to the more recent agreement of 80:20. We have also increased our minimum return guarantee from 110,000CC to 350,000CC.
When we take into consideration other variables (such as city subsidies) the actual amount we retain is way, way off what the Country economy page may suggest to the naked eye. I'm still pessimistic about the state of the economy come the end of this event so believe the minimum return guarantee will see us alright in the longer term...no doubt if circumstances do change we'll be back round the negotiating table regardless.
I shan't bore you with all the details but many thanks go to the cabinet for what was an informative discussion. In particular to Huey who toils away in the shadows keeping the cogs of the MoF turning and to Sir Humphrey who – aside from lending us his thoughts on the matter – drafted up the new agreement whilst your useless CP was out of his little mind on drugs*.
[*medicinal]
What do all pirates love?
“Gold! Y'aaaargh”
Well, yes but what else?
“Rum! Y'aaaargh”
Obviously, but that's not all we're about. Think now.
“Gold! Y'aaaargh”
...10 hours later...
“F...fish??? Y'argh?”
Bingo! We're lucky here in the eUK that the Minister of Education and Fisheries happens to also be a Pirate too so knows exactly what we need.
That's right laddys, another detailed report on fish! I encourage any new players to read this article as soon as possible to get to grips with the game.
It's been over a week since we last heard from “Mad Pauly”. I was a bit suspicious when we left him with half the treasury on an a tropical island inhabited only by a tribe of sexually promiscuous women.
He ensures me that this is essential for his investigation and we pirates are known for our honour and adherence to law! Y'eeeeerg. He's not coming back is he?
We've had the usual start with a bang and then go quiet period in mongress, doubtless only to spring back into life when someone vaguely dodgy tries to apply for citizenship.
A big shout out to Matyi2020 who, in a moment of nationalistic fervour, fired off his two proposals about five minutes after taking his seat in congress and defended his actions in the best possible way. In doing so he becomes my Mongressman of the week and 50,000CC is heading its way to you dude.
What a disaster that turned out to be...so without further ado the top five prizes go to the only five entrants in the following order.
A big round of applause for all the guys and many thanks for taking the time to participate, I will send out the prize money later if I haven't already done so. I'd like to give a special mention to Karl004 who regularly produces his own eRepublik memes and publishes them in his newspaper that you can check out here.
Right that's everything. On the flip side dudes o/
Hugs n Kisses
Chaz xxx
Comments
o7 🙂
V + c
Wish I did have half the treasury. For some reason it keeps getting donated to this "Bank of England" thing, rather than my "Home Affairs Research Environment Machine" (aka H.A.R.E.M). Nevertheless, research into what Home Affairs actually does continues apace, and I should have the results sometime within the next six months (after a long nap).
o7
I am genuinely concerned how much AMD’s beard matches the hair colour of mona lisa. That’s ruined art for me.
It’s beautiful
I knew my amazing MS Paint skills would come in handy one day, huzzah!!
More beautiful than I could ever imagine
Thank you for 3rd place. What an honour!
How much for the penis art
Penis art is distributed for free comrade!
My entry must have got lost in the post, or some pervert at the bloody Royal Mail is now standing naked infront of my full length nude of Chaz. I used 3 red and 4 purple crayons creating that, not to mention the 3 rolls of toilet paper and 9 rolls of masking tape. I had to ask special permission to use my safety scissors unsupervised, it'll takes months to earn enough stars to do that again!
Horice 😢