President Voots: First Days

Day 4,857, 21:05 • Published in USA USA • by Herr Vootsman
First Days




(Early Saturday Morning, after the extra bags of emailed votes were counted)
Thank you all.
We had a long night ... and a great night. The voters turned out in record numbers and delivered an historic victory. Earlier today, Secretary Dominar messaged me on Telegram with his congratulations. We had a really good chat. He was very gracious. Secretary Dominar waged a spirited campaign, and he and his supporters can be proud of their efforts
America has spoken, and I'm humbled by the trust and the confidence of my fellow citizens. With that trust comes a duty to serve all Americans. And I will do my best to fulfill that duty every day as your president.

I want to thank my superb campaign team. I want to thank you all for your hard work. I was impressed every day by how hard and how skillful our team was. I want to thank the thousands of our supporters across our country. I want to thank you for your hugs on the rope lines. I want thank you for your prayers on the rope lines. I want to thank you for your kind words on the rope lines. I want to thank you for everything you did to make the calls and to put up the signs, to talk to your neighbours and to get out the vote. And because you did the incredible work, we are celebrating today.

Our people have restored the vigor of this economy and shown resolve and patience in a new kind of war. Our military has brought justice to the enemy and honor to America. Our nation has defended itself and served the freedom of all mankind. I'm proud to lead such an amazing country, and I'm proud to lead it forward. Because we have done the hard work, we are entering a season of hope.



(Saturday Evening)





(Sunday Afternoon)
After recovering from a mild hangover, I realized that in a few hours (pending the final audit of the Dominion voting machines) I would be sworn in as Country President. I messaged chickensguys to begin the transition process.
I asked important questions about our allies, defense plans, training wars, and most importantly, how to get the minibar restocked.
Sadly, while chickensguys did respond, in detail, I had some trouble reading his chicken scratch.

(actual photo from of his message)



(Monday Morning)
The official Country President phone starts filling with notifications.
Where is the RW list?
Please fix the TW wall.
Please attack REDACTED
Can we be friends ?
You have accepted 713664.00 USD from Kherehabath.
Help, I’m stuck in the bathroom, please unlock.

The provided Country President phone is this ancient BlackBerry, but at least it’s a cool color.




(Monday Afternoon)
While my competent team was able to address most of these issues. There seemed to be a problem with the arcane process to generate RW lists that chickensguys had used. Fights broke out in the various conference rooms. Ultimately, Thee Dude had to use an airhorn and fire extinguisher to regain order. Most people in the room seemed to indicate that Groot started the fight, but when asked for an explanation, here is all he could come up with in defense.





(Plans for Tuesday)
RW List should be posted correctly
Bathroom door lock will be fixed
Will have a few changes to TWs - also looking for volunteers to help keep eye on walls/battles.