Wooky Jack: You can't unring that bell.

Day 2,785, 12:09 Published in USA USA by Gnilraps

You Can’t Unring A Bell (Mandatory listening)
Day 2785 of the New World
July 6, 2015


Congratulations to our new CP/D (stands for Country President / Dictator) Tyler Bubblar.

The remainder of this article is addressed primarily to him, though it’s obvious that I’ve invited the rest of you to read along.



Mr. Bubblar,

Where the hell did that name come from anyway? Bubblar? Really? The whole Tyler thing I get. But Bubblar? You have some ‘splainin’ to do.

But that isn’t really the main question I have for you today. What I really want to know is…

What business does Wooky Jack have in your Cabinet?

I am serious about this. Believe me, I understand about pandering for votes to win an election. I get that, though one might wonder if this particular move won you ANY votes. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that not even Wooky himself voted for you. But I am not questioning the political move at all. In the grand scheme, it is understandable.

However, now that you’ve won the election, you really have to consider the wisdom of retaining Mr. Jack in your cabinet. I know it would be fairly sleezy to just dump him, but trust me, nobody thinks you invited him into the cabinet for anything but political reasons in the first place, so dumping him is quite precisely no more sleezy than including him to begin with. And like I already said, this particular kind of sleeze doesn’t really bother me in this particular kind of case anyway.

Let me be more clear: dumping Wooky Jack NOW will be better than dumping him later. At least dumping him now can be seen as a principled move. Dumping him later will only be damage control. And given the fact that we pretty much know that, with him damage is inevitable… dumping him later will also end up being an embarrassment. And furthermore, if he somehow DOESN’T get dumped, it is at least likely that he has simply managed to avoid being detected in his clandestine anti-Congressional-affairs.

What bothers me most is the thought that an established member of, and key player in, the anti-Congress movement is included in your Cabinet.

That is right, I am writing this primarily as an eUS Congressman. I have been a key voice in all of the legislation that has protected eUSA from the great risk of foreign Dictatorship through the installation of our own Congressionally approved Dictatorship. I’ve been a key voice in all of the legislation that has protected the powers of Congress from the potential harm that could be caused by a rogue CP/D. I have an impeccable record of using my Congressional influence for the betterment of eUSA. I challenge anyone to dispute this fact.

In other words, I have spent the greater part of my time in this game these past 6 months or so crafting (what I will admit is not perfect) legislation that takes the greatest advantage of the mechanics Plato offers us in order to ensure the greatest security to eUSA.

And now one of the (if not THE PRIMARY AMONG the) KEY VOICES OPPOSING these Congressionally approved, ratified, and by now proven-to-be-beneficial legislations is now privy to the inner sanctum of Government, the Cabinet of the eUS CP/D! I despise this.

As a Congressman, I must say that your choice to include in your cabinet Wooky Jack (and I would be complaining about Aramec too, except that everyone knows he doesn’t really play this game), is a slap in Congress’ face.

Do we really need a review of Wooky’s history? I hope not, as it would be tedious.

One would only need to begin with his coup d'é·tat of eUSA that eventually cost eUS Taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost revenue. Where did this money go? It went directly into the pockets of any and all willing to click for cash, which would have randomly included any and all citizens of those nations we consider our enemies.

And this is my problem with your choice of Wooky Jack as a member of the eUSA Government Cabinet. You’ve promoted a known malcontent... a citizen whose past clearly indicates his willingness to put his self-interest before the National instereat... into a privileged position.

If your decision had been accompanied by some apology or statement of regret from Mr. Jack… some indication of regret about his past actions… that would have at least sparked my attention. I would have read through his statement with an eagerness to forgive that is borne from my own awareness of fallibility. I am no less immune to mistakes than you are… or than he is…

But I am convinced that Wooky Jack hasn’t even considered the possibility that his past anti-government actions were mistaken.

So please be informed that I deem the inclusion into your cabinet of Mr. Wooky Jack as a threat to national security.

As such, I will be treating any and all of your overtures to congress with a requisite suspicion unless you can provide assurances that your plans are being made in secret from Mr. Jack (as well as Mr. Aramec), and I am hereby formally requesting that you remove all known anti-Congress citizens from your Cabinet.

Meanwhile, have a nice term.





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