USAF and America: Taking all Volunteers

Day 1,240, 20:56 • Published in USA USA • by Cromstar


Americans, today has been a harrowing and distressing day for many of us. Why? Because there’s all kinds of crap going down, internally and externally.

Sadly, as if the enemy thrashing our allies from China to Europe to Delaware (of all places!) wasn’t bad enough, some people don’t want to get along with their fellow Americans to fight the enemy. They’d rather fight each other.



Sickening, I know, but true.

There have been rumors going around lately about the military and...well, no, that’s not right. Rumors are things people say because nobody knows for sure. These aren’t rumors. They are out-right lies. Someone people have been telling out right lies to many different people about the new military.

It’s sad. I have theories about who’s been saying these things, but I’m not going to finger them. Mostly because I don’t have enough fingers for all the suspects (I’m looking at you, Poland!).



However, I needs must respond to some of these things. Therefore, allow me to set the record straight.

The United States Armed Forces do not currently have a blacklist. In fact, we’ve yet to turn away a single applicant to our organization. If you’re willing to follow orders and fight for America, we welcome you openly and without reservation!


Image courtesy of Serenity Trainer who may or may not have posed for this

Inci, old military, militia, Congressmen, new citizen--it doesn’t matter to us. Been tossed out of every where you’ve been? If you can handle our requirements, join up today!

“Give us your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

~By Firo Prochainezo, Boot Camp Commanding Officer


A self-portrait of Firo in his youth...when he was a woman

That’s right, we won’t turn you away. Not today, not tomorrow, not a year from now. No matter what you think or what you’ve been told, the doorway to joining our fraternity is always open.

So remember, America and the free world abroad,


Sign up here! www.tinyurl.com/join-eusarmy

The United States Army is here to save the day!

The Armed Forces wish to call upon every America to grab a gun, a truckload of food, and meet us on the battlefield. It doesn’t matter where you hang out with your friends or which party you belong to. What matters is how many double Spaniards you can kill!



I am Cromstar, and I signed this message in Polish blood.



Cromstar
Major, eUS Armed Forces
Bureau of Public Affairs