The eWedding of Ines and Azreal

Day 923, 11:28 • Published in South Africa USA • by Merle Corey

First, congratulations Ines and Azreal....

Second, in order to preempt those who are going to be asking for my text....

Welcome, family, friends, loved ones,
miscellaneous hangers-on,
people in the wrong room,
people looking for free booze,
and zamrg.

We gather here today to celebrate the eWedding of Ines and Azreal.

You have come here to share in this formal eCommitment they make to one another,
to offer your love and support to this eUnion
(and perhaps eHeckle),
and to allow Ines and Azreal to start their eMarried life together
surrounded by the people dearest and most important to them,
as well as all of us.

So welcome to one and all, who have traveled from near and far.
Ines and Azreal thank you for your presence here today,
and now ask for your blessing, encouragement,
and eLifelong support,
for their decision to be eMarried.

Azreal?
Ines?
eMarriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of human relationships.
No eCeremony can create your eMmarriage;
only you can do that – through love and patience;
through dedication and perseverance;
through talking and listening,
helping and supporting and believing in each other;
through tenderness and laughter;
through learning to forgive, learning to appreciate your differences,
and by learning to make the important things matter, and to let go of the rest.
Oh, and mocking...lots of mocking.
All this eCeremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together as eLifemates.


If there is anyone present who objects to the eWedding of Azreal and Ines, please speak now or forever hold your peace.

Will you who are present here today, surround Ines and Azreal in eLove,
offering them the joys of your friendship,
(and mocking)
and supporting them in their eMarriage?

Please place the eRings on each other's fingers...

Will you, Azreal, take this woman to be your wedded eWife?

Will you, Ines, take this man to be your wedded eHusband?

And will you, fishbot, please stfu?

By the power of your eLove and eCommitment, and the power vested in me,
I now pronounce you eHusband and eWife! You may eKiss each other!
Azreal, no tongue!