Selling My Body For Gold

Day 2,908, 02:26 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by HebronGazelle


Yep, you heard right! I'm selling my body for gold. No, wait... you heard wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! I would never do such a thing. Slip the money under the door, I'll be round back once I get rid of these guys. I do need gold though. Why? Because who doesn't want gold?


Poor Little Q6 Factory

I'll be honest with you guys, you deserve the truth. I currently have a Q6 weapons factory. I don't have the gold for a Q7 weapons factory. I am about 100 gold short and I don't know where to get the gold from (well I know, but I don't want to have to wait a year or two - I want to get it before Christmas). I'm now accepting donations. I was accepting donations before but now I'm being less discrete. Just look at the Q6 weapons factory, how can you say no to her?


Awwwww, just look at her, baby Q6 factory, so small...


Things I'll Do For Gold

This list only includes some of the things I'll do for gold. If you have a request then comment and I'll let you know if I can do it. If you want my services, also comment.

Drop random damage
Threaten politicians who won't listen to you
Pass a random law through Congress
Write an article about how good you are
Mysteriously get your party some extra members
Stop a BigAnt PTO (I do this for free)
Report multis
Accept gold
Get Aaron a date (apparently someones already done this though)
Flirt with girls, who may or may not be girls, online - especially on music streaming sites
Teach you how to translate English to English
Give you some T-Swizzle gifs
Vote your friends feed posts
Vote your articles
Vote someone elses articles
Try to get someone banned
Impeach Neil
Impeach Addaway (once we impeach Neil)
Support Zubrei4CP
Create a new political party and then leave after a few months
Criticise everything that someone says
Fly a plane
Support a RW
Laugh at Dapper
Dapper Laughs
Make lists
Hack TalkTalk and blame it on a 15 year old kid (errr... I mean watch a 15 year old kid hack TalkTalk, I swear...)
Create the universe

Again, I remind you that these are not the only things I can do.


I Also Need A Media Mogul Medal...

I'm currently on 775 subscribers. I've been here for almost 4 years and written many articles for the eUK public. I also need gold. So can you please subscribe to my newspaper if you haven't done so already, and ask your friends to subscribe too. I don't want to buy subs (because I need gold - and it's cheating). Remember guys! Sub my newspaper!


T-Swizzle approves of this message!



Yeah, so that's it. If you haven't realised from the article, I thought I made the point very clear, Godzilla is attacking Tokyo and we need to be on high alert in case he comes over here. No... that's next weeks article... I need gold. Yeah, I need gold.

Thanks for reading,
CheetahCurtis
Half genius, half intellectual.