Official News Era #1, How New Era Works

Day 2,077, 07:14 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Invalidation


Welcome to the News Era, where I give you all the official News Era news from the new era. Our venerable party leader Sven has given me the enviable position of Media Module Mechanic Maximiser Master, for which I am very grateful. I was surprised to be given this position by a player so very old and from the highest rings of the eUK elite and am very honoured.

I look up to him, his eLife started very humble in eSweden. Not much happened to him until New Era hired him as +1 vote in a congress election and used up a citizenship pass to allow him to join our hostile takeover movement. Since then he has proven his dedication to the takeover of eUK by foreigners and wronged oldfags, and now leads the New Era PTO!

So without dallying too much more, let us move on to the news (era)!
The big news is our expansion into another party. Since we found that an alliance with other parties didn't work because humans are more complex creatures than our stunted social skills would have us know, we've decided instead to simply run multiple parties that are exactly the same populated by the same people and their umm.. extra-curricular accounts!
Now RDP only has a very lazy logo atm, because we didn't bother to think of any policies or anything for it before getting into the meat and bread of adding more accounts. Not to worry though, it doesn't effect the ultimate plan, illustrated here:



So you see the evil section of eUK that want to play the game and have fun are based in the south of England and the midlands, that's why we are sending our parties to establish bases in Northern Ireland, Cornwall and Northumberland. Once we have these key fortresses against freedom, we can march into the rest of the eUK and take over. No-one lives in Scotland, so we have not accounted for it in the plan.


To achieve all this and destroy the eUK once and for all, we need to be strong. That is why our parties have a highly developed hierarchy, with places for all our members however small.



As shown above the elitist oldfags who are the cleverest (eg don dapper) and richest stand atop a boat, riding on the back of new players and their corpses. This gives them a clear view of the battlefield, so they know who to launch personal attacks against. The new players are extremely important because they give +1 to the membercount, and some might even vote if they don't eHang themselves of boredom and irrelevance before elections.


As mentioned before though, other people are not reliable, and we lack the social skills to maximise them anyway. That is why all real New Era members (that is the ones who are not new, since they cannot be trusted) are encouraged to do their bit and maximise their membership contribution and votes. So while other parties mess around with getting their +1 membership counts from new players, our members can have up to +50 membership count!

You can achieve this too with the right know how!
Here is a step-by-step process:




Then you simply level up your alternate account to 20 and join one of our parties! Repeat this many time for the greatest effect.

Maybe now you can see why our party is so much better than parties than do not do this like our enemies in The TUP Party, UKRP, UKPP etc.



In other News Era news that isn't really related to New Era, but is something we should look into before it take us over...

The Royal Army Dental Corps has won at being a MU, thrashing the rubbish units like Legion and British Army, and rising to be the hardest hitting unit pound for pound in the entire world by a large margin. This is possibly due to the awetastic leadership by a WayneKerr, though it also might be more to do with FragUK being a proper psychopath mass murderer. It could also be due to the fact that British Army were too busy fighting for Ireland to do anything useful, no doubt following Don's directions to the battle rather than doing what they knew they should do and ignore the silly blighter.



As you can see from the analysis, Indonesia doesn't have a chance.