Battle Overview
Day 3,605, 11:53
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Published in Latvia 
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by
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by Daddy Underpants
Well, it seems the real war has finally begun. Not a moment too soon, too, as a few days longer and some other bastard acting as my successor could have taken the full credit for starting this. I was worried again when this attack didn't come yesterday, but luckily USA and co were able to talk Latvia out of getting cold feet again. In this article, we will overview the first engagements in the war, and that was not the actual attacks on UK as sadly La(me)tvia had to wait for backup. No, the first engagements in the war were in Banter Battle and spoiler alert: we kicked ass so far. 3 out of 5 articles in Latvian media are mocking Latvia (hopefully we'll increase this to 4 soon enough *wink wink
😉, and the reaction is one that we could expect: butthurt. Latvians tried to retaliate by releasing an article in our own UK media, but alas, they got the wrong stereotypes, wrote the article in Latvian and in general were incapable of making decent jokes, meaning not a single UK person could be bothered by it. Get your shit together, Fake Lithuania.
Step 1. Start Banter Battle against Roachford.
Step 2. get fukn rekt.
Step 3. start passive virtue signalling to save face.
Step 2. get fukn rekt.
Step 3. start passive virtue signalling to save face.
A noble Latvian threatening to kill people over comments on the internet. Banter = won.
Tough talk from a Latvian before he proceeded to run away and ask several other countries for help. Very impressive.
Latvians did not expect to receive troll comments on their failed troll attempt, and thus retreated to their own country media.
Latvians expressing their disapproval over Brexit: now they will have to clean toilets in Germany instead.
In Latvia, being a camgirl is a position of status, wealth and power. Also, "we totes, like, have jokes and stuff, but you wouldn't, like, understand it since it's for special people only!!1!"
The Latvian short bus horse carriage to school hit a WWII landmine, so this guy got to stay at home and make post on eRepublic all day.
This level of stupid is almost not funny anymore... almost.
A Latvian of average intelligence addresses his fellow Latvians.
eUK citizens feel bad for Latvians and try to give them advice on how to do better in the future. We are truly the utmost noble of cultures.
In a very rare occurrence, even Wayne felt pity for someone and tried to explain to Latvians to not get too butthurt. Yes, their banter is that bad.
Remember lads, ownership of land comes and goes, but glory from banter echoes for eternity.
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They just don't understand how things work around here...
Not understanding things seems to be a common trait in Latvians.
Tbh, we generally expect to get wiped, were just hoping it would have been one on one, but the other side went gay. Out before the "We did it to teach you a lesson about respect" people appear... You can take our freedom, but you can never take our banter!
You got more help than we did. https://gyazo.com/553d9cc7c8b5917564c9fe7e5fed0305.png
see what I mean, PN? They asked their allies for help first, each one alone stronger than UK, and then somehow think this means us getting help after the fact is the same smh
So you're crying about the fact that we asked our ALLIES to help us in case we need it? Damn didn't know you guys were so vulnerable.
No, we're insulting you that you needed help against a weak country such as eUK. Guess you're also a frequent passenger on the short horse carriage to the special school.
Which is a different way of saying that you're very upset
Once again proving my statement about Latvians and their understanding of things...
and yet UK is the one who thinks that they gonna win wars with shitposting! 😃
Just watch us, bro!
*epic facepalm*
Just call LT for help and stop crying..
Geez, is "call for help" your reaction to everything?
We all know how this will go..
You will start to cry for help after wipe;
we won't care about this war anymore;
you will brag how "you and your allies won everyone"
you will write some GZ articles and fck off..
Well when we'll need to cry for help, could you give us some advice on how to do it? You seem pretty good at it.
And who you kidding? If you were able to hold on to us indefinitely, you would. What will happen is you will eventually lose the ability to do so, probably when your allies get involved in other shit, and you will get kicked out, all the while telling yourselves that you meant to do that.
😃 We don't want anything that you have!
You can keep your sheep..
You wanted to get wiped - you will be!
Be happy that we made your wish come true.
"We don't want anything that you have!"
Starting early, I see!
And you didn't give us shit, the USA made my campaign promises come true. Had it been up to Latvia we'd still be trying to catch you guys in Flanders.
You stared NE on us not we on you..
You wanted to prove something and get wiped.
You are gonna get wiped.
Now you blame us for that.
And btw:
Who were so mentally behind that thought:"Oh! They are looking for new TW partner! You know what!? We just gonna NE them for no reason with war-cry:"Let them have no TW!" They won't do shit!"
First part of that dribble is irrelevant and incorrect. We never said we didn't NE you first, and we don't blame Latvia for UK wipe: you guys didn't have the balls for it, it is USA who's leading the charge, mate.
Second part of that dribble seems like something some Latvian imagined eUK bullies said before picking on your country. I do agree that the individual who though that is probably "mentally behind", though!
Simple - we just wanted Latvia to wipe us alone 😃
Your momma forgot to put a muzzle on you for a day. What a shameful display for the family.
While putting a muzzle on children is a common practice in Latvia, most of our own players live in 21st century and don't experience such things.
Come over and see how your ideas hold water, but first you have to learn to stop embarrassing yourself in public.
Not embarrassing myself in public would make me stand out too much in Latvia.
And jokes aside, why would I bother going to Latvia? Your country isn't exactly famous for interesting landmarks or cultural achievements.
For starters, try not peeing on historical landmarks in full view of the coppers. If that sounds ambitious, well, growth happens outside your comfort zone, you know. And there should be more beer than you can drink.
Well maybe that would happen less if your historical landmarks didn't look rundown and abandoned. But you have a good point about personal growth, and Latvia does sound like an uncomfortable country to be in all around, so maybe I'll visit sometime.
Be our guest, we have helluva many hotels and hostels for all kinds of tourists. It takes some inner toughness to survive in the streets of Latvia, maybe that explains why we are stomping some particular foreigners in battle right as we speak?
Hah, if Latvian streets were really that tough, you'd be stomping foreigners irl and not on a browser based game.
Happens every weekend. Meanwhile, if the current trends continue, soon it might be advised that you start wearing niqab in your own backyard. Just to be safe and non-offensive to the superior culture, of course 😃
Joke's on you - our CP is actually not British in RL and does not live there...
Guess petty violence is all you can talk about when you consider your country's military conquests.
You're absolutely right about the niqab, though. Shame those immigrants travel to countries with decent economies instead of countries where their cultures would blend in better with the local one, like Latvia. You guys could beat up foreigners on weekends together and then claim the view about Latvia not being in 21st century is inaccurate!
Noma😛 good for him, but what you so happy about? That's a non-sequitor instead of prime banter
R: Oh they do come, but the quickly leave.. not gangsta enough for street life of this intensity level. Which is a shame, because we could easily double our manpower, give them toyotas and black towels, thend send on a viking towards your shores. Instead they are forced to live in a land they despise, with guys who are too wimpy to be their women. Oh the things you do for a wellfare check...
Wow! If they'd stay and double your manpower you guys would need two humvees to transport your whole army around! Do you think USA would give them to you, though? Or would you guys have to use an old Lada instead?
But I bet you'd make it work anyway, because unlike those wimpy Brits, the manly men at Latvia are also manly enough to be women for the immigrants. Now I finally understand why half the women in Latvia have beards.
Having staunch allies sure beats being despicable and stomped into ground twice before teatime, don't you agree?
Surely immies can tell the difference instantly, a bummer our law prohibits marriage with 4 oriental males even though they wear a French maid dress and do all the cleaning & cooking, punishable by forced labor at the potato plantation. And no driving on the wrong side of the road like you do because we drive right. Those government killjoys..
Don't think UK would know since they haven't been stomped into the ground, well, forever. We'll take the word of a country who has existed as an entity for a bit less than 50 years in their entire history on this one.
The rest of that seems like some sort of fetish fantasy about crossdressing, so I think you might want to try a different site, but you do you: unlike most Latvians, I do not hate gay people.
Oh but the best is yet to come. Looks like you've got more than enough on your hands to have fun for years to come, and many of your so called elite like Edward Heath seem suspiciously friendly to children. Trust them to take you to the good places.
Cheeky. No need to suggest your favorite site, forum, video, or naughty stash you've tucked on darknet. Here we enjoy things the good old way, just like Jesus wanted.
That's because your country's tech level is the same as in the good old days of Jesus. Good thing, too, because if you guys saw how women outside of your own country looked like, Latvians would become the next pandas, but ugly, so no one would try to save you from extinction.
I'm not really sure how a country's independence relates to touching kids, seems like a pretty long stretch to me. Guess this topic must be pretty interesting to you to change the subject this far, and seeing how you listen to Catholic figures of authority, I find it rather concerning... Is this why you guys put muzzles on kids in Latvia?
Go blasphemer and meet thy doom. Seriously, if we could keep the internet, Blackadder and Monty Python, but uninvent British modern popular culture, we should go for that kind of 'downgrade'. Maybe you would be more like Sean Connery on the Arnhem bridge instead of supersized couch potatoes then. Would still bow to your lord, of course.
True. Too bad Latvians can't create their own entertainment and have to be dependant on whatever trash foreign countries provide them with 🙁
That's not really a such a big problem if you create your own entertainment offline. Got some creative projects of my own so let's see how they end up.
Good luck with the projects.
Just read the article and I must say it was quite funny! Truth to be told I was surprised to even see the comments I saw, considering that Brits are failing their English tests and have pretty low scores. Must be the fact that all the noble Brits are now more communicating with their "toilet" cleaning neighbours from Latvia, Lithuania and Poland, therefore forgetting the proper English and now using what was mentioned in one of the comments - "bad english" aka Brits second language.
So you guys are taking our advice after all! There's hope for your nation yet ❤
What advice would that be? My apologies...did not keep in mind what was written as it did seem irrelevant.
The comments about about making fun of "bad English" as a second language of Brits.
I had such high hopes for you...
Well not everyone can be as brilliant in bantering as you are. Although your brilliance in this matter kind of shows the lack of progression you're able to have as banter never takes you nowhere and never actually proceeds further than senseless shouting or ego feeding. But I guess it's a trait of Brits...same as Latvians not understanding things...although sometimes its for the best...
As I don't see much point to get anywhere in a browser based game, this works out fine for me.
omg just stop whining. The butthurt is strong with this one..
In psychology this is called projection.