[WHPR] It's Stormin Time

Day 5,952, 04:21 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room

Artist depiction of the new President's inner circle

Dateline: Thursday, March 7th (Day 5,952)
Location: James S. Brady Press Room, The White House

Today’s WHPR
1. Stormin Elected, I Voted Stickers back in fashion
2. The Legislative Agenda
3. This term in Media




Stormin President, Trains Still on Time

Greetings fellow eAmericans. Many things happen once a month. Well, only one thing pertinent to this article: presidential elections.With a strong mandate with multiple party endorsements and garnering over double the votes of the next option, Stormin has been elected President of these eUnited States.

So first, let's congratulate Stormin on his election and look forward to what his administration.


Hot off the presses with that fresh screenshot smell

Ok, that's enough congratulations, time for accountability. A new President of course means a new administration and a new media team. So the first act of business will be to reintroduce that team. Stormin officially announced his cabinet in his paper, but for those who missed it, this is your new executive:

The Cabinet

President: Stormin
VP: Shiloh13
MoFa: Herr Vootsman
vMoFa: Patanok
Mo😨 Thee Dude
vMo😨 Shefutzu
SecMe😛 Paul Proteus
DepSecMe😛 Prince Simba
SecInt: Leroy Combs
Advisor: Bob Boudahili

This is a strong group of people who represent a plethora of experience. This however is not a limit to who will be working on advancing our country, but rather the team on day 1. The administration strongly encourages anyone who wishes to be part of the cabinet to reach out to Stormin, there is a place for everyone who wants to be involved in doing the work to improve the eUS




The Legislative Agenda


Have you ever thought that the real problem with the galactic congress was the lack of Ewoks??? Just us?

Congress, long thought to be a vestigial organ of American democracy, like the tailbone, or wisdom teeth, has recently been awash with activity.

Currently the debate over the Congressional budget has exposed tensions among our body politic. And as the Speaker's Word has been dormant for longer than most Americans have been playing, we at the WHPR will do our best to summarize the situation and express the new executive's agenda for the month, in mock-interview form.

What is Congress doing?
More than you'd think! Since being elected, Congress has signed in to establish a quorum and also nominated speaker candidates for the term. Additionally the discussion over the budget has become quite heated.

The budget? Isn't that boring?
Yes

Sigh. Please work with me here. What is being argued about?
Currently the budget has an allocation for the ABS program, a weapon supply program. Some congress members, including former executives, believe this is a useful program, while others lament the lack of accountability and reporting and wish to see the program cut.

So who's right?
Read the discussion in Congress and form your own opinions!

Hahahaha yeah right
...

Oh, you weren't joking. Okay, can you at least summarize some of the arguments for those of us who don't use Discord?
Sure thing!
In favor:
ABS was created to help provide air damage during crucial battles and is working as intended, and has, according to the director of ABS, been activated a dozen times in the past few months. General giveaway programs are unable to achieve this goal, as what is needed is the extra damage provided by air weapons over the course of minutes of a special round. The current perceived lack of use is in fact due to a lull in challenges from CODE, but due to the cyclical nature of alliances this program has a higher ROI than other programs and has allowed for the creation of a useful weapon reserve.
Against:
The program has minimal transparency nor oversight and does not clearly report to Congress. It is difficult for most congress members to know when the program is active or how often it has even been used and there is no public evidence the program has been used more than 4 times in the past 6 months. Additionally, this is a benefit to a subset of players rather than more general welfare programs like GIMP. Also apparently government media has done a poor job explaining things? Shocking I know.

So what's next?
Well that's up to the American people and Congress to decide, but one of the goal's of this administration is going to be uniting Americans and bringing our community together.

To that end, the executive looks forward to working with Congress to help determine the future of these programs and put forward plans to codify accountability and efficacy for these programs, and at the very least, improve government transparency and do a better job publishing government media to keep the public informed

Okay, uhhh, so that was informative. Uh want to get a drink later?

[no response]




The WHPR and YOU!


The WHPR doing its part for the environment by recycling images and jokes

The WHPR is perhaps one of this country's most storied institutions. The first WHPR was published in 2009, and since then there have been hundreds of articles published, and maybe a few of them were even read.

It has also been one of the most underutilized institutions, frequently perfunctory and almost always late. It has been months since the last publication.

This is understandable, the game is getting smaller and fewer and fewer people are willing to do the work of writing when the rewards seem small.


Can something die if it's already dead? I mean...write more articles!

That, however, does not mean it is acceptable. This administration is dedicated to making sure we use all tools at our disposal, discord, telegram, in-game shouts, and yes, the WHPR, to inform all citizens.

To that end we will have a publishing schedule of once per week, with more issues possible for urgent news, which will incorporate battle maps, but also interviews with everyone in government so you know what the names in the cabinet are actually doing.

Finally, we wish to end every WHPR with the same question:

What do you want the WHPR to cover?

Do you want to know about our alliances? About what giveaways the Executive is funding? What Stormin's favorite Pokemon is? Please comment below what you want to see included in the next WHPR and I will do some good olde fashioned investigative journalism.

Until next time,

Your WHPR team



Your moment of Zen





[WHPR]STORMIN PRESIDENT, WHPR RETURNS
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WHPR Day 5952
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