[WHPR] Croatian Epic, Interview with the SecDef, More Stormy Weather at 9

Day 5,964, 20:02 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room

Stormin assuring the public that the flag is still probably red white and blue

Dateline: Sunday, March 19th (Day 5,964)
Location: James S. Brady Press Room, The White House

Today’s WHPR
1. What Does the SecDef Do?
2. Epics in Croatia
3. Politics Roundup




An Interview with Thee Dude
by Paul Proteus, a guy who once interviewed a rock, and Thee Dude, notable Big Lebowski cosplay expert

One thing that has always been difficult in this game is knowing what exactly goes into governing. We all know that players like Boots and Thee Dude are important (our current Secretary of State and Secretary of Defense, respectively), but what do those august positions actually entail?

Well great news, as one of the powers of the Secretary of Media (me) is vaguely guilting other members of government into answering my dumb questions. So, the WHPR cold-called Thee Dude and decided to ask what's up.


Official portrait of the SecDef, Thee Dude, that is probably hanging somewhere

WHPR: Hey Thee Dude. Can you explain what your role is as SecDef? What exactly does Thee Dude thee do?

Thee Dude: In its current iteration, the primary job of the MoD is as a communicator. They are the primary person responsible for posting Battle Orders on the national feed, posting various orders on our in-game threads and on our Discord channels. They coordinate daily with our Allies to maintain our many TWs and of course in our Alliances real wars. They organize and direct Player damage as needed in battle. They are involved in helping plan various military actions.

WHPR: Great, so what are your plans for this month?

Thee Dude: My plans are to serve our CP in executing his plans. Which currently involves invading Croatia. Let's go!

Other than that, just serve our Country as best I can. As I've always done.

WHPR: Thanks for your time, so is there anything else you want to say to the American public, who all definitely read the WHPR?

Thee Dude: I'd like to thank ALL of our citizens that join us on the battlefield. Whether you are just dropping FF in a TW or burning ebs to turn a wall in a real war. I appreciate everyone.

With that being said however, I would implore you to fight in real battles when they are ongoing. You may miss out on a few gold, but there are many times when a tiny amount of damage wins a round. And one round, one division can win the battle.

Thank you for your time and always remember to check the Battle Orders on the national feed before you drop your damage!




Epics in Croatia, Oh My!
by Paul Proteus with help from some guy named Stormin

It's time for a real war update for real Americans. You may have heard rumblings of something going on in Croatia and thought "what's going on in Croatia?" or "Where is Croatia on a map?" or "What does the WHPR have to say about all of this?" If you had any of these thoughts, you are in luck!


Really good graphic that we spent millions of your hard earned tax dollars on commissioning

The United States and Asteria HQ have agreed to have the eUS land an air strike on Croatian soil, and so far, with your help, it's working.

When asked for comment, President Stormin said, "In terms of real wars, this is about as real as it gets for an offensive strike," and "stop sending me ewok fanart, it's weird."


President Stormin leading from the front in starting today's epic

So keep fighting the good fight Americans and help us land in Zagreb, and help spread American ideals, such as free ice water in restaurants, and crocs being acceptable footwear, to the rest of the world.




Politics Roundup
by Paul Proteus, a guy who is paid by the byline

A lot is going on in the eWorld and we're not all online 24/7, but have no fear, we at the WHPR basically are, and we are here to give you your fill of politics!

What's going on in Congress?

Since our last edition, there has been much sound and fury in Congress, but it has basically signified nothing. As part of the executive's push to introduce a wide variety of legislation, ABS reform has passed, however IES reform has stalled.

There was a proposal to add a deputy IES director, however when Ubuntu, the current IES director, made clear that he did not think it was necessary, the bill narrowly failed. A second bill aiming to put into text the criteria for emergency citizenship acceptances outside of the normal IES system has stalled but could still be put up for a vote before the 25th.

A final bill that aimed to end protest votes on the in-game CBO donations by suspending benefits has also stalled and is unlikely to pass. While proponents argued that the budget vote itself was the democratic process and threatening the in-game vote threatened the eUS' ability to function, opponents balked at trying to further restrict how congress members voted.

While writing this article, further bills about House Import Taxes and even more debate on the ABS program have been introduced, so do your duty as an American and read up in public congress and make up your mind!

What else is going on?


Electoral politics are so fun in real life that we had to create more better fake politics to simulate it!

Oh Yeah, Elections!

This past 15th, our parties pokemon went to the polls and elected new party Presidents. Let's check in on the top 5:

The Rough Rider Party has reëlected Thee Dude. He's been PP on many occasions and is a stalwart member of their party since the beginning.

The Federalist Party has reëlected Roger the Shrubber. While a long-time member, this is his second term as PP as he aims to bring more activity to the old party.

We The People have once again elected Dominar Rygel XVI. A longtime member who is synonymous with his party, as they continue to be a force.

The Socialist Freedom Party has elected Woneo. Woneo is a longtime member and last led the party in December.

The Black Sheep Party has elected Arrden once again. Arrden has been PP many times over many successful terms and his name has also become synonymous with his party.

Next up: Congress!




Your moment of Zen





[WHPR]CROATIA, INTERVIEW WITH THE SECDEF, SOMETHING SOMETHING CONGRESS
https://www.erepublik.com/en/article/--2777617
WHPR Day 5964
:We get older, the links stay the same:

Day 5964 Subscribers 3953