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Hullo’ there, ladies and gents of Britain, with the recent quelling of that dastardly airstrike and some chatting with that lovable scamp, Jimbojoy, on what he wants to see by the end of the term in terms of treasury size I’ve decided to shift my arse and put out a lovely report full of numbers for you all to see! I’ll be taking my sections from what I outlined in my thread on the eUK forums and the suggestions I received there. Here’s the thread if you’re interested. I’ll make my way through my topics and then address the suggestions at the end.

The current state of our treasury and how much we have available to us
On the 7th of April, after gaining org access and building my spreadsheet, I did a full account of everything in the possession of the eUK. This came to a grand total of £1.7 million at the time although the number is now radically different, being listed as a total of £2.4 million.

Picture😛 Myself, pilfering organising the treasury
Now comes my favourite part, the bit where I burst your bubble. The increase in value according to my sheet is down to two main factors, the rise in gold price and the fortuitous discovery of some £700,000 worth of hidden assets. The rise in gold price benefitted us as we had quite a large chunk of gold to hand after many months of Carlini MM wizardry culminated last month. The hidden assets are from an org considered to be broken that when entered stored a whopping £190,000 worth of gold which has since been sold off. The second amount comes from my discovery of a large investment undertaken by a previous government amounting to £350,000 investment with £60,000 in pure money.

In terms of what money we have directly to hand, we simply take away our investments from our total treasury. Our treasury of £2.4m currently has £520000 invested in one form or the other. That is wrm investment, current monetary market investment and the £20,000 held by the NHS which will not be touched for war funds etc. This leaves us around £190,000 to hand at the moment, although this will be reduced with greater investment in the monetary market. In fact, this leads us on very nicely to....

Report on our first foray into the monetary market which has cashed out
For my first attempt at large scale monetary market shenanigans, I played it safe considering both the war (which had an uncertain future) and how much cash we had compared to gold. IN total, £350,000 or thereabouts was invested by myself. This, fortunately, provided a nice return of roughly 10% profit. I am currently in the process of selling off the gold that we received from this and if it can be done at 239.00 per gold, we will see a total profit of roughly £35,500, not bad for a first attempt.

How I feel playing the Monetary Market

How I actually play the Monetary Market

My to do list regarding the MM now is to sell off as much gold as possible gathered from it for the highest price to maximise profits and to carry on investing cash to hand into the market. Currently, £150,000 has made it’s way in but I hope to keep this growing, maximising returns for the UK. I’m also looking into the trends of what time is best to invest, seeing as some orgs cashed out with 170 gold, others with only 17. Speaking of income...

Income from taxes we are receiving, especially looking at the new tax level
After any major war, we all like to know that we’re secure in restocking the coffers with a steady income. Tax is our friend, sometimes people slip by him but a lot of the time he continuously produces money for us so we owe him a great deal. Recently, it was suggested to stimulate market spending rather than black market purchasing, that tax be lowered on weapons to 1%. In this section I’ll give you a brief look at tax during the war (High spending time) compared to tax now, and try to discern if the change in VAT (5%-1😵 has had any effect.

Since the start of April, tax income has been roughly £79,400. I say roughly as my method of tax measurement is a little uncertain. At any rate, that means that we have averaged £3,800 a day in taxes since the beginning of the month. The current tax level since the end of the major battles has dropped to around £2,750 a day, which remained stable even during the tax drop. I only have data for 4 days so far though, so please allow a longer period before we start to discuss whether or not we have been successful in our efforts. There’s not really much else to discuss here, except that I’ll keep an eye on them and let people know how they’re doing.

Government policy on holdings based in gold and currency
Recently, I sold off a huge chunk of the gold that we were holding onto, somewhere around the 2,500 mark. This was in line with us wanting to cut down our holdings to 500 in gold, the rest in cash. After the recent Monetary Market return, we are once again in possession of over 1000g, this will be cut down to lower levels once again over the coming days, based on market prices. Whilst we’re not too sure of gold stability at the moment, we feel that 500 provides a nice, secure float that will benefit us if there is a sudden rise but not hurt us too much should there be a crash.

....and all the rest of it!
In this final, little appendix I’m going to cover the last few points, a couple that were raised in the thread and a couple of my own.

In response to how much I’ve siphoned off, I must admit a serious defect in character on my part in that I haven’t been able to squeeze any out of it yet. Watch this space for sudden announcements of my brand new Q7 factories.

For Messrs. Brooks and Keers who enquired about my tits, please see the “Huate the Frerk do you look like?” thread for a refresher, in which I can be found shirtless with an octopus. In order to not dazzle the populace too much, I’ll omit the picture from this report.

Emergy, you asked to see what we had gained or lost, the change in value of all holdings since the 7th of April is looking to be around £230k more, although that’s to do with the shift in gold price, MM investments and the org that had a surprise payload of money for us. In fact, take away our 2 lucky finds and the MM profits and this term so far has been pretty much nullified cost, thanks to well managed warfare expenditure, gold prices and a not too shabby tax boost from the war.

In terms of the cost of the war, I only have figures available for this term. I will update here when I find out what was spent last term.
I authorised 12k of spending, Jimbo has authorised 55k. With 4 extra MPP’s taken up to help us out and £5000 still remaining, the total cost this term comes to around £102,000. The only reason our cost has kept this low however is the huge generosity shown by both UK players and allies alike, who privately funded their own fighting and tanking and have been great helps. Thank you for making my job a lot easier and doing a huge amount of service towards us.

Last couple points from me on orgs. The Legion, Royal Navy, British Army, Tank Nation, Royal Army Dental Corps and Royal Dragoons are now all in possession of an org to be used to investment and coordination. Liberty,Orange Order and Imperial Guards I have orgs ready to handover to you. For those who are yet to claim (I think this is just Funky Militia and Free British Irregulars, if my memory serves right) please get in touch and you will be accomodated. For all enquiries please speak to the Bank of Enland. After each MU has been given an org, applications will be open for extra ones, free of charge for Units that have money to invest. This will hopefully increase your supply infrastructure. Once again, speak to the Bank of England where you will be sorted out.

That’s all for now folks, if there’s more you want to know feel free to ask and I’ll do my best to answer. Sorry for the length but I hope I have been thorough enough for your liking, this is my first attempt and that ruddy Jimbojoy has buggered off without giving me a proofread

Many thanks

Butjam, Minister of Finance