WHPR[Day 1366] Gnilraps Stands In

Day 1,366, 13:13 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room


It is a good time to be a Citizen of the eUSA.

Cerb is PoTUS. That doesn’t seem to be sucking in any way, shape, or form. In fact, activity is up across the board in eUSA. And when is the last time you heard a bunch of mili-idiots fighting over this and that? Good job Cerb, for maintaining some decency in the White House.

And in case you have not been counting, we are back to 48 states. This is 96% perfect. 96%. In case you need to know, 96% is better than a lot of shit.

Amish Business suck more than eUSA under Cerb.

Hemorrhoid cream is less effective than Cerb.

Cerb is more effective than Jesus.

Cerb is also more effective than atheism.

Cerb is more successful than cancer treatment.

All of which are not better than 96%.

69, however, is better than Cerb, so he better get to crackin’.



Speaking of success, my idea is seriously taking off.

During my tenure as Secretary of Media, I proposed the idea of having a WHPR radio show. At the time, I suggested Josh Whitehead as Host.

Josh Whitehead, it seems, is not widely respected, however, and the idea was shot down until more respected hosts could be procured.

Well, you cannot get two more respected hosts than Civil Anarchy and Soren Nelson. (No seriously, Soren Nelson is awesome.)

Enter eNPR, the BlogTalkRadio iteration of the WHPR featuring two of eRepublik’s most eligible bachelors.

You will not find a more illustrious agenda for discussion than eNPR. This is not bullshitwasteyourtimeradio. This is the official voice of the better-than-the-Amish-White-House dishing out on the top issues of the day. Miss it and you will suck harder than drug rehab.

Look. Listen tonight.

And if you make this a success, it will get better and better and better. Who knows. Maybe it will become more successful than Cerb himself?



Speaking of purity and wild success, eCyprus has been restored.

Despite the perniciously provocacious platitudes of a particularly penile partisanship, INCI and Cyprus has been a pal. Thanks to some powerful pressure parlayed by prurient (ere)publikans, (as well as the full commitment of the Cerb administration), eCyprus is whole and her enemies are licking their wounds.

Ok. In plain English now. The eUS has remained committed to assisting eCyprus in reclaiming her native lands. Cyprus is once again whole.
Hail INCI,
Hail eUSA,
Hail eCyprus.



Today's Cabinet Member Babe comes to us from Gnilraps (!). The Media Guru has a particular fondness for Tea Leoni.



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Gnilraps
Deputy White House Press Secretary