WHPR [Day 1,186] - Trades, Staff, Allies, and State

Day 1,186, 20:55 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room


Hola:

Apparently, some of you haven’t been paying attention. We are not in fact, losing a war to Mexico. We are trading regions with them. We are getting resource regions from them that we don’t posses while they are getting some of our redundant regions. It’s really not that hard.

We do understand that some of you remain trapped in the states that we have traded with Mexico. This is your chance to finally escape these pits of despair. You don’t need to depend on a football scholarship. No, members of the executive branch are coming together to provide tickets for any one stuck in these terrible, terrible states. Simply PM this org and we’ll get you tickets soon. Like I said, this comes from the pockets of executive members. We aren’t spending any government money on this.

Terrible elitism at work.



Bai::

Unfortunately, Alexander Hamilton has had to step down as Minister of Foreign Affairs due to a new mistress named “A photo of Aaron Rodgers holding the Super Bowl trophy”.

He has been replaced by his Deputy, Laxsnor. Laxsnor’s new deputy is the PTO threat GLADoS. They’ll keep up the excellent work of making sure we know things about other places and such. Or making sure we have friends. I don’t really know.

An even more crushing blow is the loss of Inwegen. It causes me emotional distress to think that he’s left us. I’m going to miss him. He was a great player who has decided to leave the game. He has been replaced by DisDick as Deputy Chief of Staff. I’ll be honest, we’re losing our good British players at an unacceptable rate. GF, Inwegen. Krems, don’t leave us. Please. Not only did we lose Inwegen, but Ostin returned. Sigh.



Our new friends::

We have signed a MPP with France. This is a move towards solidifying our friendship with them and our commitment to PANAM. France is our friends and we now have the ability to participate in their wars. Clearly, there is no benefit to America. It’s not like we’re going to have any wars of our own soon, I’m sure. It’s a pity thing.

Oh, we have a new friend that I get to unveil. It’s actually pretty exciting. HankScorpio would be extremely proud I’m sure. We will soon be signing an alliance with Russia. This is beneficial to both countries. It provides both of us with solid military allies. Also, Skynet. 😁



State Department::

Just wanted to let everyone know that we’ve received over 90 applicants for ambassadorships. If you haven’t been contacted yet, we’ll be in touch soon. If you’re a you girl, just hope it isn’t Emerick doing the contacting.

If you’re already an ambassador, Cerb wants me to make sure you fill out your ambassador reports here weekly. Please do it so I don’t have to keep posting reminders.



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Don’t hate me,

Kentel
Greatest Secretary of Media of All Time. Of All Time.